Archive for The Northleach Horror

The Wombled Hand

Posted in Fashion, FILM with tags , , on March 23, 2021 by dcairns

Underground, overground, Wombling free
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
Making good use of the things that we find
Things that the everyday folks leave behind.

And, I submit, those words are as true today as when they were written. For Lo! Here is a cybernetic hand I created entirely out of things picked up off the streets.

I recommend the practice. You get some funny looks, and even funny comments, but you can regard this mild hazard as therapeutic, especially if you’re British. It helps to build up a tolerance to embarrassment. Myself, I flat out don’t care.

You will be carrying out a minor environmental service as you pick up bits of discarded plastic. A lot of things seem to fall off the undersides of cars. Your vehicle goes on, heedless, until presumably a hundred miles later the wheels all come off. Do I sometimes crawl under your “automobiles” to pry loose interestingly shaped components? No! This would be contrary to the wombling code.

The last time I made stuff was for my short film THE NORTHLEACH HORROR — I built Whitsuntide’s science helmet out of a colander and his flash gun out of a fake box brownie and a toy machine gun, as well as the lid from a set of screwdrivers and other sundries.

I remarked to the art director that this prop had survived rather better than most of the things I built. He replied, “That’s because you have not yet put it into the hands of an actor.”

Having wombled together a pretty nifty mitt, I decided to extend the wrist and make a gauntlet. But the whole operation got out of hand and I wombled up a whole arm. Fiona asked if I was going to make a whole body suit. I might!

Watch this space.

We Used Dark Forces

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , on November 1, 2020 by dcairns

My first novel (evah!), We Used Dark Forces, a Lovecraftian dieselpunk comedy about a group of mad scientists using perverted science to try to win WWII for Britain, is now available to buy on Kindle from Amazon. For instance, in the UK and US.

Thanks to Danny Carr for the fantastic cover art, and Sue Osmond for the photo of the man and Steven McNicoll, the man.

It looks like I’ll probably do some paperbacks a bit later.

Meanwhile, you can SEE two of the book’s protagonists in action in the short film THE NORTHLEACH HORROR, which stars Freddie Fox as the horribly sane mad scientist Whitsuntide and the above-mentioned Mr. McNicoll as his faithful chum, McWheattie.



Posted in FILM with tags , , , , on October 31, 2020 by dcairns

I seem to have written a novel, entitled THEY USED DARK FORCES. Amazon is currently in the process of publishing it.

More soon… above is a teaser video by the estimable Danny Carr.

UPDATE: it’s here.