Archive for Michael Caine

Back Asswards

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2020 by dcairns

SPOILERS FOR TENET! !TENET ROF SRELIOPS

Lots of them.

I felt a sort of historic obligation to see TENT since it positioned itself as the Great Return to Cinema — its writer-director seemed eager to create a series of super-spreader screenings and, like his Russian supervillain, bring his medium of expression (arms dealing, cinema) to an end along with all of us. That plan was thwarted, perhaps by a time-traveling secret agent, and now, also like his Russian supervillain, his movie has bellyflopped into the icy waters of indifference, pausing only to smash its skull on a jutting section of luxury yacht, and will shortly be towed off by a motor launch, its pale and shapeless body, a Felliniesque dead mackerel, glistening with poorly-applied sun cream. Or am I stretching my simile too far?

I enjoyed this film! Maybe my favourite Nolan since THE PRESTIGE. Of course I have grumbles, but there were at least moments where I felt a kind of glee over what was about to happen, or maybe what had just happened? So hard to tell.

Of course I went in knowing that all the dialogue was exposition, and most of it was inaudible. Knowing that helped to not worry about that. Must be even tougher if you’re unused to Cockney.

Robert Pattinson’s impersonation of Christopher Hitchens may not be as dazzling as Roger Allam’s in V FOR VENDETTA, but it’s very entertaining.

About that: Sir Michael Caine appears, since this is a Nolan joint, and it’s always nice to see him. But the appearance feels valedictory. Damn you, 2020! It’s a wholly sedentary appearance, unevenly cut, and that fine actor seems to be having trouble speaking. That thing, whatever it is, when your teeth are no longer firmly rooted. Nolan gives Caine some of the best lines in the film, and drops the thundering Zimmerist music of Ludwig Göransson so we can hear him. Caine is playing Sir Michael Crosby, and when John David Washington (continuing to prove his worth as an excellent, sensitive leading man) gets up to leave he pauses, and in a specially weighted close-up, says, “Goodbye, Sir Michael.”

So there’s THAT — the only emotional moment in the film, really, and the most successful emotional beat of Nolan’s career. Maybe I’m out of line for even mentioning it. I do hope Caine does lots more films. Nolan and Caine seem to be admitting otherwise, if that moment is there for a reason.

Elsewhere, the film is a series of heists and capers and assaults. You know that thing about INCEPTION? That thing where they bend Paris, and it’s just a DEMO, to let you know the kind of thing they can do in a dream? And then they never do anything like that again? Except the Fred Astaire punch-up in the rotating corridor?

Well, TENT, sorry, TENET, isn’t quite like that, but I was waiting for them to do more with their reverse gear. I had guessed from the title that the film would go forwards for half its running time, then backwards to the beginning, but that’s not really true. They do start reversing at the halfway mark. There’s a fun backwards car chase. And a fight played first with the protagonist moving forwards, then replayed with him reversed (Nolan can’t quite shoot this expressively enough to make the masked man the hero — your eye keeps going to the unmasked one). And at the end there’s a “temporal pincer movement” in which one set of attackers are in reverse, but why?

Best bit in that attack — where a building seems to blow up twice, both forwards and backwards and there really wasn’t time why or even WHAT — is when a wall reverse-explodes and sucks a passing trooper into itself. Presumably, if we had a flashback to the construction of that wall, we’d see a couple of builders going What do you want done with these human bones? Oh just put them in the wall, it’ll be fine. Are you sure? Yeah, when somebody eventually blows up the wall all the bits will turn into a person and he’ll run off backwards it’ll be FINE.

Disappointing the film does not include that scene.

TENET contains the palindrome Tenet, and also the reversible names Sator and Rotas, and it contains a racecar (kind of) and a mom. But no kayak or madam. The LA JETEE moment when a memory is replayed only this time the person whose memory it is becomes a character seen in that memory — I saw that one coming — is, given that the character is called Kat, perhaps a visualisation of the palindromic sentence “Was it a cat I saw?”

In terms of clarity — I think the film suffers not just from everyone saying important lines through masks or cockney accents, but because Nolan is not the world’s most lucid visual storyteller. Think of the incoherent fights in his first BATMAN, then listen to him saying they were like that on purpose, then look at the later BATMEN and their fights, which are only like 25% better. So he can’t help it. I always felt THE PRESTIGE needed not just a big CITIZEN KANE shot at the end — which is easy to do if you have a big budget for man-sized mason jars — but a tracking shot that shows a reasonable sampling of WHO is in those jars. Because I value clarity. TENT has a big briefing scene (I think it’s actually in a TENT) where they explain what they’re going to do before the final battle, and it’s STILL confusing.

Some really nice location shooting. But if it had proper James Bond swooning strings and torch song vamping over it, that would have been better than the pounding, throbbing stuff Nolan always goes for. The James Bond films that inspire him are technocratic power fantasies of violence and casual sex, and when you put s. strings and t.s. vamping on top, you get wonderful IRONY. Which Nolan doesn’t do, does he? Extraordinary that you can be a Bond fan and not appreciate or aspire to an ironic tone.

But he’s quite an odd fellow, I think, Nolan, in his dry, boring way.

TENT stars Ron Stallworth; Crocker Fenway; Fleur Delacour; Rev. Preston Teagardin; Bobby J. Braganza; Harry Palmer; Mopsy Rabbit; Prince Bertie; Hercule Poirot; John Lennon; and Lilian Roth.

Intelligence

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , , , , , on December 22, 2019 by dcairns

Michael Caine, it would seem, spent the eighties trolling Kim Philby. THE FOURTH PROTOCOL opens with Philby being shot in the head (shortly before he died for real). But in THE JIGSAW MAN, Caine plays “Philip Kimberley,” a former head of British Intelligence who defected to the USSR — but now, by crikey, he’s back!

Confusingly, characters keep talking about Burgess, MacLean, and the actual Kim Philby, as if this Phyllis Crumbly wasn’t a fictional analogue. True, in CITIZEN KANE there is a fleeting reference to Hearst, of which I suppose somebody would complain “It took me right out of the film!”, but Charles Foster Kane was called Charles Foster Kane, not Hilford Random Wurst.

This is a true late film — Terence Young (DR. NO) only made one more, screenwriter Jo Eisinger (THE SLEEPING CITY) made none. Susan George’s movie career was prematurely winding down and the promising new field of horse homeopathy was opening up for her. Laurence Olivier managed three more features, but is looking his age, and though Charles Gray would be with us for quite a while, he didn’t make many more movies either. Freddie Francis shot it.

So it’s a shame it’s such a terrible film. I mean, wow.

Frill Quimby gets plastic surgery that turns him into Michael Caine, who returns to Blighty in search of some boring documents. Supposedly working for the Russkis, Crim Filbski de-defects and goes rogue, hunted by both sides.

This man is about to become Michael Caine.

The opening scene, in which Clem Fably isn’t Michael Caine yet, but has Michael Caine’s completely distinctive voice, is an immediate lost opportunity — instead of teasing us with the (quite good) dub-job, the movie has Film Kimby talking rapidly in two-shot from the off, as if we’re not even supposed to notice something is up.

Olivier swears a lot through a scraggly beard that makes him look more like the late Don Henderson — not as dapper as we’d like — and seems to be having trouble with his breathing, and hence with his terrible lines. I think someone thought that having Sir Larry say “Arse” was going to be great value for money. There’s fantastic amounts of exposition, none of which we care about or need. Susan George tells Caine about how she once wrote to him telling him she was learning Russian, and he says yes, he knows, he got the letter. Marvelous.

Caine is required to do only things he’s not good at: fighting, running, accents. His Russian accent, which is meant to be fake but convincing, keeps veering into Mexican. When Phlegm Killerbee apologises to Susan George for killing her publican friend with one mighty chop, he says, “I’m sorry about your friend. War is bad.” “It doesn’t matter,” she assures him. It would have been good if she’d amplified the point: “I never liked my publican friend anyway.”

The Criminologist plays bald!

The climax is a shoot-out in the baboon enclosure of Royal Windsor Safari Park. The monkeys all have hidden their typewriters.

2001 tribute?

THE JIGSAW MAN stars Harry Palmer; Maxim De Winter; Dirty Mary Coombs; Jesus of Nazareth; Joseph Goebbels; Ernst Stavros Blofeld; and Ernst Stavros Blofeld again.

Or do I mean Parry Hammer; Waxim De Minter; Mirty Cary Dooms; Nesus of Jazzareth; Goseph Joebbels; Stan Blovros Airfield; and Blornst Avros Sternfeld?

Dirty Nuke

Posted in FILM, literature with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2019 by dcairns

 

Don’t bother with THE FOURTH PROTOCOL, is my best advice. They do shoot Kim Philby in the head in scene one, a bold start, but it’s downhill from there.

It comes on very cinematic, courtesy of Scotsman John MacKenzie at the tiller, and everyone’s in it, so for a while it seems like it could be OK.

But then it turns out to be a mash-up of DAY OF THE JACKAL and OCTOPUSSY. It somehow manages to have the same plot as both, even though they have different plots.

Pierce Brosnan is a handsome, ruthless Russian spy working for a rogue spymaster. He’s the Jackal, in other words, and Michael Caine is on his tail, but we get to see Caine run in this and we wonder if he’s ever likely to catch up. I think the point at which I lost hope for the film was when I realised the Inevitable Scene was going to be a punch-up between these two on a housing estate.

Brosnan moving about being slinky and ruthless is just Edward Fox V.02, but his specific mission is to blow up an American airbase on British soil, making it look like an accident. This will cause CND to kick the Americans out, thus weakening NATO. The film keeps cutting to CND protestors like they’re a THREAT, like they’re the elephants in ELEPHANT WALK (although, admittedly, I always took the pachyderms’ part against the settlers). There is, for balance, a scene where Caine beats up some skinheads on the underground because they’re hassling a weeping black girl with a CND badge for being a “commie” — the film’s one endearingly ludicrous moment. I was hoping for more, since George Axelrod is a credited writer, and he did give us, in a fit of apparent late-career confusion, THE HOLCROFT COVENANT, which plays like an accidental comedy but is written by a great comedy writer, so what is going on?

Caine has a brilliant scene reading Russian names off a computer with his small son — the only human moment in the movie.

THE FOURTH PROTOCOL stars Harry Palmer; Remington Steele; Tector Crites; Zhora (naked and dead again); Major Breen; Emeric Belasco; Rick Pym; Francis Urquhart (I); The Duke; Mon Mothma; Jessica Rabbit; Frank Cotton; Max Headroom; Neville Chamberlain; Elphias Doge; and the voice of Professor Ping.