Archive for Jean Rogers

The Unseen Peril

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2022 by dcairns

I bet we can see the unseen peril.

Chapter 10 of FLASH GORDON begins with Flash, in a deathlike stupor, menaced by the fire dragon who might be called Gocko — the recap of this takes far longer than the resolution: “I’ll destroy it with this grenade!” barks Zarkov, and does so. The rubbery foe explodes into clumps and falls over sideways.

The high priest is outraged. He doesn’t go so far as to claim the fire dragon was sacred, but it was guarding the secret chamber of the great god Tao, which you must admit comes pretty close.

Fun with camera angles! Apparently Fred Stephani had some time on his hands this week, so he gives us two novel views of Ming’s throne room. A zombified Flash is tasked with choosing the one he loves the most, like Lassie. But, not like Lassie, he’s been doped with the same love potion (#9) used so effectively by Mickey Rooney to enchant Ava Gardner the lovers in A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM. Or maybe not — it’s merely a draught of forgetfulness — waters of Lethe — and Aura now tries to persuade the befuddled polo player that she’s his one and only. Not clear why Dale just stands there staring while this goes on, but the scenario rarely allows her what you’d call agency.

Vultan protests this jiggery-pokery and is cast into dungeons dark dank and donk — possible FRANKENSTEIN leftovers, as is the score. Prince Barin wisely chooses not to protest and reports to Zarkov.

Larry “Buster” Crabbe may not be the world’s best actor. Larry “Buster” Crabbe may be the world’s worst actor. But he is very good at playing brainwashed. “Don’t you know me?” asks Dale, quoting Stan Laurel in DIRTY WORK under admittedly fairly different circumstances (chimney sweep genetic regression calamity). Flash just stares into space (which is easy to do in space). He has the ardour, the passionate responsiveness, of Li’l Abner. Sad violins.

Prince Barin tries to fetch him for Zarkov, but the suggestible earth-dolt is tricked into seeing PB as his enemy, A boudoir swordfight ensues, easily the equal of the one which opens LISZTOMANIA. (I don’t know why Ken Russell didn’t use Liszt’s FLASH GORDON theme in his rock opera biopic, his aesthetic has plenty in common with the Flash Gordon Cinematic Universe, and I mean that as a compliment. MAHLER even has a cave-dwelling fire dragon.)

Assisted by Zarkov, Barin knocks Flash (more) senseless with the hilt of his sword, adding brain damage to our strapping hero’s mental woes. Unfortunately it isn’t one of those blows to the head that restores a lost memory. It’s just the kind that makes you fall down on the boudoir carpet. They lug the fallen Flash to the lab and enlist the healing power of neon tubes. It’s so crazy it just might work.

Griffith Observatory calling! Funny how everyone abandons Flash’s prone form once the earth gets in touch. Dale, hearing the radio, rushes to the wall safe space viewer to take a look at the old planet, as if she expects to see its lips moving. Zarkov manages to make himself dimly audible to the terrestrial listeners, something he’s been struggling to achieve since episode 2, and which has no dramatic consequences whatsoever.

Zarkov’s electrical tubing soon restore’s Flash’s “mind” but just then, an imperial death squad arrives from Ming. They stand him against the wall, level their ray guns — but Zarkov does the business with the old lever and makes Flash vanish. The execution squad scream like girls and run away, pursued by a thunderbolt wipe which leads into the Continued Next Week card.

So — it’s not the peril that’s unseen, it’s the imperilled. But that wouldn’t have made a good episode title. And neither one is a match for In the Claws of the Tigron, which is NEXT —

Fighting the Fire Dragon

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , , , , , on June 15, 2022 by dcairns

So, mainly what you need to know is — ORANGOPOID!

Now read on.

Ray “Crash” Corrigan in a unicorny monkey suit. Flash versus Crash! This whole wrestlemania spectacular, and the duel with Barin which preceded it, is the serial’s version of the later movie’s tilting spikey platform whip fight, and one realises how wise Lorenzo Semple Jr. was to keep earth in peril of destruction throughout — in the serial, Ming seems to have given up his evil plan and is just, I don’t know, living in the moment.

Flash, meanwhile, is dying in the moment. But it’s not really that big of a cliffhanger — cue the “To Be Continued” card while he’s getting gored, then start the next episode with him jumping back up on his feet and decking the hairy fellow, right? Let’s see if that’s what happens.

“Is there no way a man can conquer the sacred orangopoid?” asks Aura, possibly her best ever line. Some rando in a funny hat lets her in on the secret. This is a glorious cheat, since the conversation is spliced into the furry grappling already seen in last week’s installlment. Rewriting the past is a popular serial trick.

Learning that the pellet with the poison’d in the vestle with the pestle the white spot on the ‘rango’s throat is his Achille’s heel, Aura grabs a spear and hands it to Flash, who, without any instruction, ventilates his opponent’s heel throat. I guess the windpipe is a reasonable thing to aim at.

Ming is very annoyed. He entrusts the rando who spilled the secret with the job of learning who spilled the secret. The rando is in fact his high priest, who has been seen earlier now I think of it. I like that Ming is surrounded by traitors just waiting for their chance to screw him over.

Ray “Crash” Corrigan does some hilarious “death throes” acting, which the editor tries to salvage, only not hard enough. The little foot kicking in the air seems like the only point anyone in the show has tried to be funny. But maybe he thought he was being serious.

I haven’t studied the work of “Crash” but I have to say, he’s no Charlie Gemora.

Since Flash has won, Vultan frays the sleeves frees the slaves and Flash has the right to marry Dale. Ming is pissed, but Vultan scolds him, “You cannot ignore your own law.” What’s the point of being a dictator, then?

Thun leaves to rejoin his people (like Poochy). Dale gets a costume change. It’s very much like a happy ending, except that everyone’s invited to Ming’s palace, a fairly clear indication of a double-cross. Zarkov shows Dale and Flash the earth, seen through a wall safe with a lens on it, a beautiful cloudless grey globe. Zarkov is STILL trying to set up a comms link, not helped by the fact that he’s been relocated from one lab to another just as he was making a crackly breakthrough.

Meanwhile, at Griffith Observatory, Prof Gordon and his cronies speculate incoherently about the strange signals they’ve been unable to detect. Yes, that’s right — they know they’re out there, they think they may be intentional signals, but they can’t detect them.

I’m all excited about the dragon. Will it be an ill-treated iguana or a bloke in a rubber cossie? Or what? I have no memory of this.

Aura, the serial’s wild card, the only character besides Vultan and the high priest with any ambiguity (though Vultan is, I have to admit, a bad guy, it’s just that he’s also an opportunistic turncoat) seems determined to interfere with Flash & Dale’s marriage plans. Poor Aura! Looking for love in all the wrong places (the Tunnel of Terror, the Arena of Death…)

Spying on the young lovers, Aura is outraged to find the high priest spying on her. He outlines a complicated plan involving the fire monster from the tunnel of terror. Ah-hah, so it seems like this episode’s “fire dragon” is the same big-pincered beastie from The Tunnel of Terror (episode 2). Well, you have to get the most out of your kaiju costume.

I won’t give you the whole plan but it involves an amnesia pill, so I am totally there for it. It should be easy to sneak past the fire dragon because it’s after his bedtime, and he can only be awoken by the “sacred gong.” We’ve already had the “sacred orangapoid” this episode, there’s a lot of random holiness on Mongo I wonder if the high priest doesn’t just wander about anointing things on a whim.

I suppose, having speared the hallowed monkeyman, Larry “Buster” Crabbe is now officially an iconoclast, on top of his other talents (swimming, and, uh…) I always fanced that job. Travelling from church to church, smashing the relics. My own sledgehammer and all the cucumber sandwiches I can eat.

Tender scene of Flash and Barin in the boudoir. Barin joshes Flash: “Nervous about choosing a bride?” “Oh, the choice will be easy,” muses Flash. “It’s just that I don’t trust Emperor Ming.” Don’t marry him, then! At least get a pre-nup.

Aura sends a flunky with the doped wine, falsely claiming it as a gift from Vultan. “Sure wish Vultan was head man around here,” says Flash, forgetting that Vultan enslaved him, tortured him, re-enslaved him, and tried to seduce his girl using a stripey bear, shadow-puppetry, expensive jewels and his second-best turkey leg. Also, it’s probably an insensitive thing to say to Barin, who might fancy the top job himself. One of the great innovations of the Mike Hodges movie is to make Flash a big idiot, but the groundwork had clearly been done.

Knocked cold by his roofied plonk, Flash is carried out on a litter while some Franz Waxman plays on a loop — not only sets and props but also music from Universal’s FRANKENSTEIN films get repurposed. I always found the musical connection exciting as a kid, but I never seem to have noticed the sets.

Everyone is perturbed to find Flash missing, but Vultan immediately discovers a scarf dropped by Aura. I wish there were a whole series entitled KING VULTAN INVESTIGATES in which the flightless monarch solves crimes in the mean streets of New York City using deductive reasoning and shadow-puppetry.

Prince Barin plays bad worse cop, strangling the flunky to get info. “Speak, man! Through the Tunnel of Terror?” Urk. Choke. Kaff. Strangling has been an efficient tool for Flash, but it has its limits as an interrogation technique, and clunking the guy’s helmet head against the set wall (for real) may also be ill-advised. But hey, it works!

At around 16:05 you can enjoy Jean Rogers (Dale) and Frank Shannon (Zarkov) getting their cues muddled up and talking over one another, thereby inventing overlapping dialogue ahead of Howard Hawks. A retake was considered too ambitious.

“Are you sure the fire dragon will not molest us?” Aura asks the high priest, who is standing suspiciously close to the sacred gong. Five seconds after Aura and her litter-bearers have lugged Flash into the dragon’s den, he bashes the sacred dinner gong and INSTANTLY the rubber-suited leviathan is awake and on its outsized feet, ready for his Banana Splits audition. Drooper, Snorky, Fleagle, Bingo and… Gocko!

Apparently the creature has a name, never spoken in the serial but established by Alex Raymond: Gocko. First cousin to Gorgo. Ambitiously, the effects team have rigged it up to breath fire, resulting in the poor occupant setting his own costume ablaze. Fortunately it’s just the weird bifurcated dangly horn/feeler sprouting from his latex brow. Definitely a design flaw. I hope the guy’s getting danger money.

Good use of forced perspective to make Gocko look huge. And then it’s —

TO BE CONTINUED

Shattering Doom

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , , , , on June 2, 2022 by dcairns

FLASH GORDON — a source of deep joy, yet also bitterness. It was AFTER my encounter with the first serial on BBC TV that the bitterness began. The Beeb would schedule the serials — FG, TRIP TO MARS, CONQUERS THE UNIVERSE and BUCK ROGERS — daily during the school holidays. But the holiday times in Scotland and England were slightly different, so that I’d still be going to school during the first few episodes, much to my annoyance.

This is clearly enough to turn one into a radical Scottish nationalist. In fact, though, BBC Scotland has always programmed slightly different listings from the BBC south of the border. Most of the times are the same, but variation is allowed. So it’s the shiftless idiots at BBC Scotland back in the seventies who are to blame for not looking at the school calendar and making a simple change.

I am forced to conclude, based on this and other evidence, that the purpose of BBC Scotland is to provide an inferior viewing experience to the square-eyed TV viewers of Hibernia.

Still, to keep things in perspective, I may have experienced a flaming torture and a shattering doom of the spirit when forced to miss two-to-four episodes of a 1940s serial, but Flash is experiencing them for real as we begin episode 7. Truly, there’s always someone less fortunate than yourself, and it’s always Larry “Buster” Crabbe. Dale Arden responds by doing what she does best — passing into a dead faint, pretty much her signature move. This kind of damages her pretense of not loving Flash, though I guess the argument that she didn’t eat enough chicken at dinner is still applicable.

Poor Jean Rogers! A perky, game gal who’s a lot of fun in the Red Skelton movies. When she was dating or fooling around with Cary Grant she would entertain him with hilarious stories about the FG serials’ filming, and about Larry “Buster” Crabbe’s inadequacies as a thespian. (From Marc Eliot’s bio Cary Grant). I wish we had those stories.

Princess Aura manages to persuade Vultan to stop Flash’s Flaming Torture — she does this in a couple of ways, using stealth psychology, and a small ray gun. “Dress him! Take him to my laboratory!” commands King V, and soon Flash is being revived by some handy neon tubes (it’s amazing what you can do with neon tubes). The cure for electrocution is… more electrocution. Zarkov, master of the lab, has a neat little gimmick that makes a tiny ball float in the air. If he can do that, surely he can heal our frazzled hero.

The gurney/tray used to slide Flash amid the tubes reminds me of a story from my friend Sam, whose father, a mad inventor type, designed the device that slides patients into scanning devices. He tested it on his children, naturally enough, and Sam still has the cranial irregularities that testify to the time when the contraption worked a little too well, sliding him gracefully in and then out the other side onto the floor. Fortunately the engineers of Mongo have ironed out such kinks.

A costume change for Dale. About time, she’s been wearing the same midriff-baring Mongoese outfit she went swimming in. This one presumably is of Hawk Man construction, but oddly enough has no holes at the shoulder for the wings to poke out.

Vultan tries to entertain Dale with a display of shadow puppetry. This is a really surprising scene, because it has nothing to do with propelling the action forward to the next punch-up or cliffhanger. It’s just a Hawk Man, standing in front of an earthwoman, casting the shape of a dog with his mitts.

Emotions! Aura tries to win Flash by poisoning his mind against Dale. The “romance” stuff here is conducted like the war games of the school playground — a series of alliances and conflicts. Little boys typically have no patience with the kissing stuff, but if you make it all about scheming and fighting, that’s acceptable.

In a surprise move, Aura grabs a handy welding device and threatens to smelt Flash’s wedding tackle, or that’s what the imagery suggests anyway. In the dialogue, she threatens to blind him — apparently that’s more acceptable to the censor.

Meanwhile, Vultan, having failed to impress Dale with his fingerwork, offers to give her a pearl necklace. The jokes really do write themselves, and a good thing too, otherwise we’d have to rely on either me or Alex Raymond, Frederick Stephani, Ella O’Neill, George H. Plympton and Basil Dickey.

Then some stuff happens and WITH ONE BOUND, FLASH IS FREE!

And then captured again, But not before the BEST BIT — bounding into Vultan’s throne room, he casually shoves a Hawk Man guard, who, unbalanced by his heavy rigid wings, helplessly falls over like a toddler.

“Waah-umph!”

Brief skirmish, then Flash is captured by a surprise attack from the sliding door the stripey bear previously emerged from. Apparently Vultan has some guards living in there too, sharing the space with “Urso.”

So Flash is sent back to work in the atom furnaces yet again, only this time Zarkov is ordered to rig him up with an electric wire than can fry him if he tries any more Spartacus stuff. They trust Zarkov to do this. Naturally he wires up a shovel instead and nobody notices the difference. A cunning plan — Flash is to throw the shovel into the furnace, which will do something so impressive you have better be hiding behind the lead blast wall when it happens. Gotcha.

Ming visits, and Vultan immediately rebels against him, threatening the “mighty potentate” with some of his easily-toppled henchhawkmen.

“Is Charles Middleton having as much fun as Max Von Sydow did?” asks Fiona.

“Hard to say, it’s the same performance he always gives.”

Flash executes Zarkov’s plan and there is a genuinely impressive explosion followed by a genuinely cheesy wipe to the closing title (I approve: cheese is what I’m here for). Good pyrotechnics, but do they meet the very strict criteria for “shattering doom”? It’s too late to question it, this episode is over.

TO BE CONTINUED