Wandering aimlessly in my local Waterstones (a museum which realistically recreates the days when human beings bought physical books from physical retain establishments) I was intrigued by a volume entitled Film Listography. At first I thought it would be a collection of lists compiled by some movie hack, but to my surprise it turned out to be a collection of blank pages with headings — inviting the reader to compile their own lists. It seemed quite fun. But I’m buggered if I’m spending £7.83 on a bunch of blank pages. You can do what you like.
What you get is stuff like MEMORABLE MONOLOGUES and FILMS WITH GREAT COSTUMES. About seventy of those and you’ve got yourself a book, apparently. It’s not a bad gift for somebody beginning to think about cinema. But you could make your own book and invent your own headings and have even more fun. Here’s what I’d put in mine.
40s MOVIES WITH TALKING CAMELS
MOVIES WHICH STEAL/ADAPT THE PREMISE OF “THE THREE AMIGOS”
SILENT MOVIES WITHOUT INTERTITLES
MOVIES WITH UNBALANCED STOCK FOOTAGE-ORIGINAL FOOTAGE RATIOS
MOVIES WHERE MIKE MAZURKI GETS A CHARACTER NAME THAT ISN’T A THUGGISH NICKNAME
MOVIES WHERE A BODY BUILDER WRESTLES AN EXTRA DISGUISED AS A WILD ANIMAL
MOVIES WITH GREAT BAD LINE READINGS
SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES WITH TRAGICALLY UNDIGNIFIED COSTUMES
MOVIES WITH BRILLIANT BUT INACCURATE ACID TRIPS
MOVIES WITH RESPECTED ACTORS DOING TERRIBLE ACCENTS
ACTORS WHO LOST CREDIBILITY DUE TO WEARING TOUPEES
ACTRESSES WHO PLAYED THE MOTHERS OF MEN THEIR OWN AGE
FILMS WITH BOTH MONKEYS *AND* DOGS IN ‘EM
MOVIES IN WHICH ANN-MARGRET IS HOTTER THAN BALLS
If you want to buy a book with lots of blank pages: Film Listography
I would welcome further suggestions.
shadowplay 