“I have a competition in me…”

I had three thrilling entries for the Shadowplay First Freaky Friday Free Prize Give-away Spectacular.

Question (1): I asked, of Cary Grant’s character name in NORTH BY NORTHWEST, ‘If the “O” in “Roger O Thornhill” didn’t stand for “Nothing,” what would it stand for?’

First to write in was David Ehrenstein, with the topical “Obama”. That sounds pretty nice — Roger Obama Thornhill. It also sounds kind of like an INSTRUCTION. My first thought is that the “O” would STILL stand for nothing.

(BUT — apparently Obama voted in favour of banning cluster-bombs and land mines, while Hilary voted against. It’s only one issue, I know, but when there’s so little useful information and distinction between the candidates…)

Alex Livingston volunteered that the “O” didn’t stand for anything because it’s really a zero. But I think that gag’s already intended by the movie, so I can’t accept it. On the other hand, it suggests that Alex really needs a copy of this film.

Blake Buesnel suggests “Orville”, like the Wright brother, and cites Thornhill’s affinity, if we can call it that, with prop aeroplanes. It’s a good answer, and shows both film knowledge and lateral thinking.

Question (2): ‘If you met a stranger on a train, what would you ask him? Say he came from Peoria, Illinois, what then? Suppose he had a magic pencil?’

Now Alex comes into his own:

“if i met a stranger from peoria, illinois on a train, i would probably ask him to use his magic pencil to draw a new set of tracks to divert the train from crashing into the downtown chicago railway station. then i would ask to borrow the pencil to dig out my liver, which i would send to roger thornhill. he could staple the liver to his meaningless “o” and this would give him an acceptable middle name”

A question (2) answer which morphs into a question (1) answer with all the graceful  ease of Robert Patrick. Outstanding, if grisly.

Blake counters with:

“If i met a stranger from Peoria, Illinois on a train, i would ask her (think of a sharp-witted, blond) to tell me a little bit about her hometown of Peoria. After a minute, I’d ask her about that dreadful fire that took the high school library. She’d agree at the unfortunate nature of the accident. I’d agree and add that it was especially unfortunate, because Peoria lost it’s greatest treasure in the most bizarre occurrence the town had seen in years: an imaginary library being swallowed up by a fictitious 3 alarm fire. Having been found out, I’d reassure her I was just being keen, as my job as an insurance investigator allows me to be, and her secret, whatever it is, is safe with me.”

 

While performing a sex change on the stranger, Blake manages to evoke Eva Maria Saint in NORTH BY NORTHWEST, and also Fred MacMurray’s train-based activities in DOUBLE INDEMNITY.

The judge’s decision is final, but confusing. I say that EVERYBODY has won. The two prizes will be divided among the three of you, in a manner of my choosing. I’ll be in touch to consult with you all on this.

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Incidentally, the CORRECT answer to (1) is “Ordinary”, as in Wilfred “Ordinary” Smith from STAGE FRIGHT.

Punchy

Jim Sheridan (pictured) gave an onstage interview at the Edinburgh Film Festival a few years back. MY GOD he was brilliant. He’s a very good filmmaker but a SENSATIONAL talker (Karl Francis was very good too — if his films were half as good as his storytelling he’d have been one of the greats). Huge long anecdotes that were hilarious and extreme, and then he’d draw remarkable life lessons out of them too.

One little story I remember concerns prep for THE BOXER. Sheridan and his wife watched a video of ON THE WATERFRONT with Daniel Day-Lewis. ‘He came at me with a left, I hit him with a right,’ says Brando at one point (or words to that effect), his fists making little jabs as he re-stages the scene in his memory.

‘What mistake did he make?’ asked Mrs Sheridan.

The menfolk admit to being baffled.

Jim’s wife explains: ‘He moved his right hand when he said “left” and his left when he said “right”.’

‘And then I realised,’ Jim said to us, ‘that women triangulate violence. They always have to know where the next punch is coming from.’

Euphoria #16

New York cartoonist Dean Haspiel nominates this passionate clinch from ON THE WATERFRONT as the latest in our highly scientific study of the scenes that set your pulses pounding:

“Native New Yorker, Dean Haspiel is the author of super-psychedelic romances and semi-autobiographical comics and is a founding member of Brooklyn’s DEEP6 Studios.”

His studio-mate Simon Fraser describes Dean’s scene thusly: “Dean’s suggestion is very Dean, it’s the Terry and Edie kiss from ‘On the Waterfront.’ It’s a “Kiss/Rape” but her performance makes it more complicated than that. She’s excited.”

Let’s all pray for Dean’s speedy apprehension.

But NO! For truly, one man’s meat is another’s poisson, judge not lest ye be judged, and remember the wise words of Professor Praetorius: “Science, like love, has her little surprises.”

We don’t judge other people’s euphoria here at Shadowplay, we merely celebrate the human capacity for ecstasy!

Just got my hands on Joseph McBride’s splendid Whatever Happened to Orson Welles, and upon reading the McCarthy-era political stuff, I was interested to read the account given of a 1982 discussion at the Cinematheque Francaise, where Welles was asked to comment on Elia Kazan.

“Chere mademoiselle, you have chosen the wrong metteur en scene, because Elia Kazan is a traitor. He is a man who sold to McCarthy all his companions at a time when he could continue to work in New York [on Broadway] at high salary, and having sold all his people to McCarthy, he then made a film called ON THE WATERFRONT which was a celebration of the informer.”

Then: “In other respects, he’s one of our great directors.”

In a strange sense, what makes ON THE WATERFRONT acceptable is the way in which Kazan and Schulberg stack the decks in favour of Terry Malloy: he’s dealing with dangerous criminals who kill people, they’re not his true friends, and he stands only to lose out personally by informing on them. If his brother had been true to him, there would be a real moral quandary in his betrayal, but Steiger’s character has made a living from exploiting his sibling. Conversely, Kazan was betraying people who had been loyal, who had committed no crime, who wished him nothing but good, and Kazan benefitted materially from snitching.

I love the story of the biographer who asked searching questions of Kazan about contradictions in his story, and Kazan fell unconscious at his desk rather than answer them. A moral microchip blew inside.

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Footnote: Eva Marie Saint is the whole show in this scene, top-notch work from an underrated actress. Her posture at the end is incredible.

Dean’s fellow cartoonist Simon Fraser informs me of the following:

“Dean was taught to swim by Shelly Winters. Who was his godmother. Dean was also babysat by a very young Bobby DeNiro. A family friend. There’s a lot more of that kind of thing from Deans family.”

Wow. And to think I was previously impressed by Simon having a cartoonist friend who’s descended from Johnny Weissmuller! Any connection to Shelley Winters is like a hotline to God.