Archive for Cheeta

He Is Risen

Posted in FILM, Mythology with tags , , , , , , on April 2, 2018 by dcairns

I am attempting nothing less than the entire New Testament in movie trailer form. As God said on the day of creation, here goes nothing…

                     

                            

Chimpan Alley

Posted in FILM with tags , , , , , on September 28, 2008 by dcairns

“I sez callin’ all trucks, this here’s The Duck
We about to go a huntin’ bear.” ~ a Wise Man.

Cheeta the chimp (real name Jiggs) has not only written an autobiography, as reported here.

He’s released a charity single.

It’s a cover version of the theme from CONVOY.

(I’m not making any of this up.)

I thought about this until my brain prolapsed out my neck, and I finally figured it out.

Cheeta — chimp — B.J. and the Bear (or EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE if you prefer) — trucks — CONVOY.

Simple, really.

But what we now require is a REMAKE of CONVOY with the septuagenarian chimp in the Kris Kristofferson role. Chimps in ALL the roles! Except Ernest Borgnine, we need him to reprise his part as the sheriff, to give the thing some dignity.

“You know, on most movies you have some good days and some bad days. I don’t feel like I’ve had one single good day on this movie.” ~ Sam Peckinpah.

Ten-four!

The Life and Death of Colonel Chimp

Posted in FILM, literature with tags , , , , , , on January 31, 2008 by dcairns

Chimp my ride 

I am indebted to Shadowplay informant Danny Carr for the information that former TARZAN compadre Cheeta (A.K.A. Jiggs), the world’s oldest recorded chimpanzee, is going to rock the world of showbiz with a tell-all autobiography. The watchful primate will pull no punches as he recounts his turbulent life story to a rapt reading public. Original “Jane” Maureen O’Sullivan is expected to bear the special brunt of the ape of wrath’s score-settling.

But has Cheeta himself led a blameless existence? According to TARZAN ESCAPES’ uncredited co-director, William “the Onion” Wellman, Cheeta would masturbate on command, at a secret signal from his trainer, whenever studio suits visited the set, thus driving them away. Not the sort of behaviour we expect from a movie star, except maybe Jason Statham.

great movie stills in them days

I’m slightly perplexed at the idea of a non-verbal, non-reading, non-writing primate authoring a book. If we go for that, there’s nothing to stop inanimate objects from getting their own bylines too. We could have The Rosebud Chronicles: A Sled’s Journey (I know Orson Welles said they burned that thing, but Spielberg still thinks he has a genuine CITIZEN KANE prop), Thus Spake Geoff: The Intimate Memoirs of a 2001 Monolith, and maybe Bridge on the River Kwai: His Own Story. Hell, there’s nothing to stop us having books authored by people, animals and objects that don’t even exist. How about the true-life struggles of the purely allegorical elephant that never appears in either version of ELEPHANT?

elephantom 

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Another weird bit of Tarzania: in November of last year, a number of obituaries appeared commemorating the passing of Brenda Joyce, the second actress to play Jane opposite the incomparable Johnny Weissmuller (and Jiggs). It is pleasing to note that rumours…death…greatly exagg… and the former Betty Leabo seems to be Very Much Alive at 95. Wonder if she’ll be buying her co-star’s book.