The Wombled Hand

Underground, overground, Wombling free
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
Making good use of the things that we find
Things that the everyday folks leave behind.

And, I submit, those words are as true today as when they were written. For Lo! Here is a cybernetic hand I created entirely out of things picked up off the streets.

I recommend the practice. You get some funny looks, and even funny comments, but you can regard this mild hazard as therapeutic, especially if you’re British. It helps to build up a tolerance to embarrassment. Myself, I flat out don’t care.

You will be carrying out a minor environmental service as you pick up bits of discarded plastic. A lot of things seem to fall off the undersides of cars. Your vehicle goes on, heedless, until presumably a hundred miles later the wheels all come off. Do I sometimes crawl under your “automobiles” to pry loose interestingly shaped components? No! This would be contrary to the wombling code.

The last time I made stuff was for my short film THE NORTHLEACH HORROR — I built Whitsuntide’s science helmet out of a colander and his flash gun out of a fake box brownie and a toy machine gun, as well as the lid from a set of screwdrivers and other sundries.

I remarked to the art director that this prop had survived rather better than most of the things I built. He replied, “That’s because you have not yet put it into the hands of an actor.”

Having wombled together a pretty nifty mitt, I decided to extend the wrist and make a gauntlet. But the whole operation got out of hand and I wombled up a whole arm. Fiona asked if I was going to make a whole body suit. I might!

Watch this space.