The Wombled Hand

Underground, overground, Wombling free
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
Making good use of the things that we find
Things that the everyday folks leave behind.

And, I submit, those words are as true today as when they were written. For Lo! Here is a cybernetic hand I created entirely out of things picked up off the streets.

I recommend the practice. You get some funny looks, and even funny comments, but you can regard this mild hazard as therapeutic, especially if you’re British. It helps to build up a tolerance to embarrassment. Myself, I flat out don’t care.

You will be carrying out a minor environmental service as you pick up bits of discarded plastic. A lot of things seem to fall off the undersides of cars. Your vehicle goes on, heedless, until presumably a hundred miles later the wheels all come off. Do I sometimes crawl under your “automobiles” to pry loose interestingly shaped components? No! This would be contrary to the wombling code.

The last time I made stuff was for my short film THE NORTHLEACH HORROR — I built Whitsuntide’s science helmet out of a colander and his flash gun out of a fake box brownie and a toy machine gun, as well as the lid from a set of screwdrivers and other sundries.

I remarked to the art director that this prop had survived rather better than most of the things I built. He replied, “That’s because you have not yet put it into the hands of an actor.”

Having wombled together a pretty nifty mitt, I decided to extend the wrist and make a gauntlet. But the whole operation got out of hand and I wombled up a whole arm. Fiona asked if I was going to make a whole body suit. I might!

Watch this space.

6 Responses to “The Wombled Hand”

  1. bensondonald Says:

    Mystery Science Theater 3000 was initially driven by similar creative impulses, although the result was more 1950s than steampunk. In the early seasons especially, note how much random stuff is glued all over the sets.

    You might consider crafting and marketing some “We Used Dark Forces” collectibles, like tricked-out tuning forks or Inspector There visibility kilts.

  2. I should! Though I might need to invest in a sturdier glue than Uhu.

  3. David Ehrenstein Says:

    The early MST30K episodes with Joel Hodgson are the best.

    What you’ve got here is “The Beast with 5 1/2 Fingers”

  4. Ah, you noticed the exo-finger! More power to my pinkie.

  5. Mark E Fuller Says:

    This explains the humanoid pile of scrap metal in the back yard that FW posted a few days ago……..I’m now getting nightmares.

  6. They are benign! They come in peace! (Or pieces.)

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