Bette’s buttocks

THE BRIDE CAME C.O.D. is a rambunctious pseudo-screwball, with Bette Davis as flighty heiress and James Cagney as supposedly amiable tough guy, the attempted lightness knocked flying by rambunctious Warner Bros slapstick, the whole movie seemingly targeted at the Davis derriere, undignified recipient of cacti (three times) and catapults (twice). We barely escape the obligatory spanking scene. You marvel at scenarists the Epstein brothers’ ability to resist having Cagney crash his plane into her arse.

Cagney is rendered so obnoxious that the main interest becomes how they can possibly sell a romance, but credit to the writers and actors, they actually manage it, a feat comparable to getting Eugene Pallette airborne, which also happens. William THE MAN WHO CAME TO DINNER Keighley directs, somehow, with Max Steiner braying in his ear the whole time, his score a Loony Tunes medley of famous themes, which you can distract yourself by naming — once named, each one reveals itself as wholly inappropriate, which never happened in the cartoons. “Oh, Susanna”? But we’re in California!

Max even gets to mickeymouse the sound of cactus spines being extracted from Bette’s bum, which I suppose was a novelty for him. Bette’s declaration of “Either I’m coming down this staircase or Max Steiner is!” is herein answered. Max Steiner is coming down this staircase.

The filmmaking has what they call gusto (nice montages, but we don’t know who did them — Siegel?).

Another first — trailing on the end of that miniature parachute is a miniature Bette. Can’t think of another film where she was rendered as a marionette. It looks to have been tiny. I wonder how detailed?

 

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