The Journal of the Whills
Thanks to Danny Carr for lending me his massive STAR WARS making-of books. I find them fascinating, not because I’m a big fan anymore so much, but because of the insane amount of detail devoted to every part of the creative process. The sound editing stuff alone is fantastic. There are bits where, whatever your opinion of the films, you may find yourself impressed by Lucas’s determination/moxy/inventiveness/strategy, and bits where you might think him an idiot or a jerk.
Alhtough I sometimes enjoy mocking Lucas, nobody should be judged by their first drafts — unless first drafts is what they publish, as I usually do here — but the early versions of THE STAR WARS or THE JOURNAL OF THE WHILLS, to give it two of its early titles — are curiously unreadable things. Some of this is perhaps not Lucas’s fault — in summarising his plots, author J.W. Rinzler sometimes seems to be giving equal emphasis to everything, whether it’s a major plot point or merely a scenic effect, and he doesn’t go much into character motivation. This makes the long synopses feel like word soup — a bunch or people with funny names going from place to place, performing various actions, for no discernible reason. Still, we’re told that nobody at 20th Century Fox really understood what Lucas was up to, so this may in fact be a perfectly accurate condensation of his rough drafts.
Plus, there are lots of bits of business and character names (Mace Windy eventually turned into the slightly-more-dignified Mace Windu) that eventually got recycled in the prequels, and those really DO have that extraordinary narrative clumsiness — GO HERE — DO THING — MAKE SPEECH TO OTHER GUY — GO OVER THERE — CUT TO DIFFERENT PLANET — RUN! — FIGHT! — which seems to be Lucas’s default mode when he hasn’t put himself through the necessary hell to arrive at a coherent shape.
The first STAR WARS is really tight — even the apparent dead end of the Greedo-Jabba subplot provides essential motivation for Han in Act III. It’s important not so that he can have a lot of trouble in films 2 and 3 which is unrelated to the main action, but so that he can disappear and then reappear, delightfully, at the climax of Film 1. Contrast this with THE FORCE AWAKENS where Oscar Isaac pulls off an identical vanish-and-return strategy but WITH NO EXPLANATION WHATSOEVER.
For fun, I have reproduced some passages from Lucas’s disordered warblings, as rephrased by Rinzler, alongside some pastiche versions knocked off by me. Valueless and abstract prizes will be awarded to anyone who can tell which is which.
In the war room, Skywalker tells his aide Montross to put everyone on alert, when Kane Starkiller and his son Annikin arrive. Kane asks Skywalker to take his son as the “Padawan Learner.” When Skywalker asks why, Kane reveals that his arm and chest are mechanical. “There is nothing left but my head and right arm. I’ve lost too much, Luke. I’m dying.” Suddenly Montross reports a giant asteroid or moon detaching itself from the Anchorhead system and heading their way. “It’s as big as our third moon.”
Artwo and Biggs locate the Kiber crystal and hide it Artwo’s exhaust unit. General Dodana and Deak Starkiller send them to Utapau to find Dai Nogas and apprise him of the battle plans. But Ogana is concerned that Seig Darklighter may be using the Force of Others to “channel death beams.” A Council of Seven is called to debate the next course of action, but Ogana secretly contacts Son Hhat and arranges a delivery of drones.
In the Palace of Lite the King and Queen watch two giant twin suns set in the green sky. Skywalker and Annikin arrive and report that Kane has gone to the spaceport of Gordon to meet an old friend, Han Solo, the Ureallian. Skywalker again pushes for war, but the king wants to get the approval of his allies first, and departs on a mission to Amsel to meet with the “full assembly.”
Rax Moda returns Akira’s lost lazersword to Binks, with the words “It served your Padawan well.” The Princess meets Luke’s twin brothers, Valorum and Ginch. All three set off by jetstick to Candowamp. There they find a tribe of Wookees, small, hooded creatures with glowing eyes. Valorum fights the Wookee leader Hoedack, using power staffs, but they later form an alliance. The Jedi leader, Aquilae, arrives by escape pod with important word from the Mouff System.
General Skywalker receives word that Whitsun, who had disappeared, has just been admitted to MedVac. They rush to the emergency room, where Whitsun says that the bad guys are just behind him–“A giant space fortress” is on its way, he explains. The general sends Annikin to pick up Princess Leia. At the Academy, Annikin retrieves Leia but not the handmaidens, one of whom remains as a decoy.
The robots eventually find their way to a moisture ranch owned by Luke’s uncle and aunt, Owen and Beru Lars. They meet there Luke’s young twin brothers, Biggs and Windy, and his sixteen-year-old cousin, Leia, the daughter of Owen and Beru. The robots explain that they are looking for “Angel Blue,” the code name for Luke. When they meet Luke Starkiller, he interrupts his laser sword training to introduce himself as “the Skywalker.”
While the old man looks for the Kiber Crystal, the others rescue the princess, which doesn’t go smoothly. “She’s a tough babe: doesn’t appreciate their help–a trap? Han punches her in the face and Chewbacca carries her out?” They then have to face the Dia Noga and have various adventures, while the old man gets the crystal, at which point the Sith Knights “become ill.”
Art by Ralph McQuarrie.