Card Tricks

I’ve only made three of my usual cinephile Xmas cards this year, owing to time restrictions.


As usual, what you should do is cut the illustration out of your computer monitor with a pair of round-ended scissors and paste the cracked rectangle of liquid crystal display to an old Christmas card with the names inside crossed out. This will totally result in an ace Christmas card.


Then, tape a piece of newspaper over the gaping hole in your screen, using sticky-backed plastic, and simply work around the newsprint area.


If you’re viewing these on your phone, forget it! It’ll never work!


8 Responses to “Card Tricks”

  1. “A tasty cup of hot rich choc
    Is served by jolly old Hitchcock.
    And though he didn’t grin or wink
    It should be safe enough to drink.”

    “May your Merry Christmas mail
    Include kind words from Pauline Kael.”

    “May the season’s jolly tone
    Be unmuckraked by Ollie Stone.”

    “Sad you didn’t get a pony?
    Be grateful that you don’t run Sony.”

  2. How beautiful! Thank you!

    “At this time of festive cheer,
    Dennis Hopper presents an ear.”

  3. “Lacking in the myrrh and holly?
    Crack an egg on Bergen, Polly.”

  4. “Celebrate with festive cheer,
    And have a laugh with Richard Gere.”

  5. “Did the wise men reach us early?
    No — It’s Larry, Moe and Curly.
    Serve the pudding now, dear Mother
    And we’ll watch them deck each other.”

    “On the rooftop reindeer stalkings
    Stir me from the lad of nod.
    Last night I hung two silk stockings
    To be filled by Thelma Todd.”

    “Christmas will be really super,
    Thought the child Jackie Cooper.
    Then it turned a bit less cheery:
    Santa played by Wallace Beery.”

    “God calls Santa to North Pole
    after parting egg nog sea.
    Show how sinners earned their coal —
    Merry Christmas, Cecil B.”

  6. Astonishing! Deserving of illustration!

  7. Does DBenson write limericks?

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