From various films excerpted in various documentaries on the history of the “smoker” or “film boudoir.” Viewed for WORK PURPOSES, damnit. Stop sniggering.
Now, make up your own story out of the following —
Your tawdry entertainment ends here. Let that be a lesson to you.
I’m not sure I believe any of the stag films purporting to be of Monroe, though it’s perfectly plausible she might have posed for one. And Crawford got drunk and FORCED Eve Arnold to take nude snaps of her — this was quite late in her career. EA visited her the following day and destroyed the negatives in front of her.
The Crawford and Monroe reels are indeed questionable but the Chuck Connors one is genuine. Years ago it was included in Hollywood Blue — a kind of “That’s Pornotainment” compilation film.
I saw a short excerpt of the Connors porno reel back in the 1970s, and I had little doubt it was The Rifleman.
David C, this is why you get paid the big bucks, not only do you come up with a transcendentally unappetizing pairing, but also use the title of a film you know I own!
You mean they talk>/i> during pornos nowadays? I found the first porno I ever rented way back in the ’80s at the video stores that were springing like weeds up back then. Watched it recently and the female lead’s VO was so stupid it was hilarious to me.
Margaret Hamilton and Bert Lahr…uh, I’ll be in my bunk.
Ah, Inserts, with its brilliant cast of painfully thin women. Veronica Cartwright is playing a junkie, but then Jessica Harper comes in and is even skinnier, like a Blythe doll with her big head bobbling on top. Ironic that she now writes cook books.
James Caan and Bob Hoskins in Close Encounters of the Furred Kind.
shadowplay 
January 8, 2012 at 1:41 pm
Oh boy indeed! Yes, I think I might go and write a possible screenplay at my *ahem* Private Blog …
January 8, 2012 at 2:42 pm
Insert prerequisite porno shots of Joan Crawford, Marilyn Monroe and Chuck Conners
January 8, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Chuck Conners? Oh dear lord no!
I’m not sure I believe any of the stag films purporting to be of Monroe, though it’s perfectly plausible she might have posed for one. And Crawford got drunk and FORCED Eve Arnold to take nude snaps of her — this was quite late in her career. EA visited her the following day and destroyed the negatives in front of her.
January 8, 2012 at 3:10 pm
Is it wrong that when I read “Oh! Boy.” I heard it in Woody Woodpecker’s voice?
January 8, 2012 at 3:49 pm
How about let’s make up the most offputting silent stag reels, call it Silent Stag Reels to Kill Desire:
1) Charles Sellon and Frankie Raymond in Muckling About.
2) Wallace Beery and anybody in Champing at the Bit.
January 8, 2012 at 3:54 pm
The Crawford and Monroe reels are indeed questionable but the Chuck Connors one is genuine. Years ago it was included in Hollywood Blue — a kind of “That’s Pornotainment” compilation film.
January 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm
Not a face one could easily be mistaken about.
George Bancroft and Charley Bowers in Two Fisted.
January 8, 2012 at 5:01 pm
I saw a short excerpt of the Connors porno reel back in the 1970s, and I had little doubt it was The Rifleman.
David C, this is why you get paid the big bucks, not only do you come up with a transcendentally unappetizing pairing, but also use the title of a film you know I own!
January 8, 2012 at 5:30 pm
Wallace Beery and Marie Dressler in His Master’s Vice.
January 8, 2012 at 5:35 pm
I wish porn had such charming intertitles nowadays, instead of what we have to listen to . . .
January 8, 2012 at 5:40 pm
Edna May Oliver and Polly Moran in Fun Down Below.
January 8, 2012 at 5:51 pm
I suppose that could have been “vise”.
January 8, 2012 at 6:20 pm
Ow! Vise is worse!
Margaret Hamilton and Bert Lahr in Lion on Top.
January 8, 2012 at 8:18 pm
You mean they talk>/i> during pornos nowadays? I found the first porno I ever rented way back in the ’80s at the video stores that were springing like weeds up back then. Watched it recently and the female lead’s VO was so stupid it was hilarious to me.
Margaret Hamilton and Bert Lahr…uh, I’ll be in my bunk.
January 8, 2012 at 8:19 pm
Tagfail. That’s what I get for typing one-handed.
January 9, 2012 at 12:59 am
Anthony,drop your toga and come along..its over..
January 9, 2012 at 2:03 am
How about John Wayne and Duke in Ride Him, Cowboy!
At least it’s a real title with the actual performers.
January 9, 2012 at 2:30 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBqbB1pbX2g
January 9, 2012 at 9:22 am
Ah, Inserts, with its brilliant cast of painfully thin women. Veronica Cartwright is playing a junkie, but then Jessica Harper comes in and is even skinnier, like a Blythe doll with her big head bobbling on top. Ironic that she now writes cook books.
James Caan and Bob Hoskins in Close Encounters of the Furred Kind.
January 9, 2012 at 5:09 pm
All that and the most fabulous dressing gowns EVAH deisgned by Shirley Russell.
January 9, 2012 at 5:31 pm
This is true. And the charm/pathos of Richard Dreyfuss trying to look like Barrymore.