and every word of it true

‘”Tarzan” turns life saver’ — an insightful piece of film journalism from my 1933 Film-Lovers’ Annual, a publication I intend to quote extensively from in the coming decades.

If you happen to be overcome while paddling at Santa Monica, make sure you have your Tarzan co-star and a photographer from the Film-Lovers’ Annual along with you. You won’t be sorry.

For even greater security, bring your nude body double from Tarzan and His Mate.

Baywatch ’33.

The “SM Guards” spring into arm-massaging action.

…and none the worse for her adventure.

For some reason, I keep thinking these captions were pilfered from a Tijuana Bible. Maybe it’s just that the guileless innocence of the whole thing induces an involuntary counter-reaction?

24 Responses to “and every word of it true”

  1. As Maureen O’Sullivan used to say “Oh Tarz’n, Tarz’n, Tarz’n!”

  2. I remember it as “Tah’zn dahling”.

  3. I know it must be the banal Santa Monica beach lifeguards, but I can dream, right? With S-M guards around, there’s no need for safewords.

    I remember finding these publicity plants in newspapers of the era while doing research. I usually chuckled and moved on, but some were interesting.

  4. David Boxwell Says:

    Those one-piece wool suits enabled one to tell the wearer’s religion.

  5. LOL, as they say.

    Maureen’s body double, Olympic swimmer Josephine McKim, plays the miniature mermaid in Bride of Frankenstein, btw.

  6. La Faustin Says:

    And does so without offending Mr. Breen, as the Siren reassures us: http://selfstyledsiren.blogspot.com/2010/10/halloween-with-joe-breen.html

  7. The circumlocutions a diligent censor can get into considering mermaids are potentially endless.

    “She’s naked from the waist down! But she’s a FISH from the waist down… but the fish half is CONNECTED to the woman half, so it’s still a woman naked from the waist down…”

    It’s a wonder their poor heads don’t explode.

  8. Sadly it seems that many young stars these days have gotten the wrong end of the stick and don’t bother faking their papparazzi attended run ins with medical technicians or officers of the law. Still, it’s all good publicity I suppose!

  9. Yeah, feeding the media with nonsense seems like a good way to go: if you can’t preserve your privacy, blitz them with misinformation!

  10. You’ve read Me, Cheeta, I take it. Lots on Weissmuller in that.

  11. Yep. And a pretty interesting story.

  12. I’m with mndean on this one. And I say this as someone who has lived in West Los Angeles and, um, knows the territory …

  13. Christopher Says:

    theres Tahz’n dahling for Jane….and theres the masculine Tarzan and Boy way…Tarzin!….Tarzin go get!….Guns no good!..Guns KILL!….NATzis??!!

  14. “Say, why do they call this a diving board, Randolph?”

  15. Early Eighties video is just so-o-o-o primitif…

  16. Christopher Says:

    80’s were kinda fun..everyones so serious now..AND FOR WHAT??

  17. Maybe someone out there can confirm this: Is it true that Weismuller once said that Jane had halitosis worse than Cheeta?

    Also, Weismuller used to do the old Tarzan yell from his bed in the rest home toward the end of his life.

  18. Well, NOBODY can do the Tarzan yell — the yodel is played twice, once backwards, meeting in the middle, to make it last twice as long as any set of human lungs could manage…

  19. OK, *almost* any set of human lungs.

    The halitosis story is horrible and I hope it isn’t true.

    The rest home bed story is poetry and therefore automatically true.

  20. Christopher Says:

    I remember reading about the rest home story in the paper at the time.
    Not long before Weissmuller was hawking toy loin cloths on TV commercials..”just like Tarzin wears”

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