The March Shadowplay Impossible Film Quiz

Round (1) The Dreaded Quotations Round.

a) “Positively indecent! Positively indecent! Positively indecent!”

b) “I’ll show you the life of the mind! I’ll show you the life of the mind! I will show you the life of the mind!”

c) “Infamy! Infamy! They’ve all got it in for me!”

d) “Mr Bascombe! Mr Bascombe! Mr Bascombe can’t drive — he doesn’t have a license!”

Round (2) Lowest Common Denominator. What do the following have in common.

a) Denholm Elliott; Heath Ledger; Rachel McAdams; James Caan.

b) Orson Welles; Clint Eastwood; Ken Russell; Johnny Depp.

c) Ramon Novarro; Kei Fujiwara; Cat Mueller.

d) John Huston; Busby Berkeley; William Holden.

Round (3) Images Round

What films are these?

Round (4) What connects the following directors?

a) Franklin J Schaffner; J Lee Thompson

b) Jim Mallon; Joseph M Newman

c) Michael Apted; Mike Newell; Roland Joffe.

Round (5) Pure filth. In which films do the following perversities appear?

a) Erotic postcards of monuments.

b) “See her take the pleasures from the snake, which once corrupted the hearts of men.”

c) Strap-on penetration with Laurel & Hardy accompaniment.

d) Sexy dance with fish.

Round (6) Dwarfs round.

a) What do Ringo Starr, Linda Hunt and John Rhys-Davies have in common?

b) What do Michael J Anderson, Toby Clark and hmm, maybe there isn’t another example?

c) What connects Jack Purves; Pieral; Michael Dunn.

d) Kenny Baker (Fidget), Jack Purvis (Wally) and Marcus Powell (Horseflesh) were all Time Bandits in TIME BANDITS, but what also connects them?

e) Hobbits vs Munchkins — who would win?

Round (7) Missing Limbs Round





Round (8) Music Round




d) What connects THE EXORCIST, ROBIN AND MARIAN and KING KONG (Jackson version)?

Round (9) Bodily Functions

a) What natural act put a crimp in Lee Tracy’s career?

b) What connects the villains of BACK TO THE FUTURE III, BLACK CAT, WHITE CAT and CAVEMAN?

c) What act connects Terry Jones, Isabelle Adjani and Udo Kier?

d) What was collected from Kim Hunter in A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH, to be used as legal evidence?

Round (10) The Halt and the Lame

a) Derek Jarman, Fritz Lang and Douglas Sirk suffered what?

b) John Huston, Alexander Mackendrick and Leo McCarey suffered from what?

c) Henri-Georges Clouzot and Galton & Simpson had seminal experiences where?

d) Julien Temple, Dudley Moore and Jennifer Lynch have what?

It’s easier this month, no?


76 Responses to “The March Shadowplay Impossible Film Quiz”

  1. Thanks for these I think I know 5 b) Seven faces of Dr. Lao

    6 b) doesn’t look like it’s been finished.

    Other slim pickings:

    7a) bellicose human torsoes
    d) claw handed villain

    8 c) Orff?

    9 c) vomit
    d) tears

    10 c) TB hospital

    Can’t wait.

  2. AnneBillson Says:

    Ib and Ic are easy:
    Barton Fink and Carry on Cleo

  3. AnneBillson Says:

    5a is Le fantôme de la liberté
    7c is severed hands scuttling around

    right, off now to do some more work. But… I’LL BE BACK
    Damn you, Cairns.

  4. Yep, all correct so far EXCEPT 7 Faces of Dr Lao.

    6B proved impossible to finish so I just left it and then forgot. It might be rather hard to answer, so here’s a clue: it’s the inverse of 6a.

  5. 1b – Barton Fink
    1c – Carry on Cleo

    4a – They directed the Planet of the Apes movies (Schaffner did the first, Thomson did the rest)
    4c – They all directed Coronation Street early in their careers.

    5b – Blade Runner

    6a – They’ve all played dwarves whilst not actually being a dwarf; Ringo – 200 Motels; Hunt – The Year of Living Dangerously; Rhys Davies – Lord of the Rings.
    6d – Not only did they all appear in the first Star Wars film. Baker – R2D2, Purvis – Chief Jawa and Powell is in the cantina and can be seen wandering around the streets of Mos Eisley) but they also all appeared as Wombles in Womlbing Free.
    6e – Hobbits. Because everyone else will say Munchkins. And they have swords and like to get drunk.

    7d – They all have henchmen who have hands replaced with strap on weapons (Live and Let Die – Tee Hee has a claw; Innerspace – Mr Igoe has a finger pistol, claw and vibrator)

  6. 9a) he widdled off his hotel balcony onto a mexico day parade

  7. 10d) club foot

  8. Well done! There was at least one other Planet of the Apes director, Don taylor, but I just went for the ones with Js in their names.

    The bad guy in Terror in a Texas Town doesn’t have interchangeable weapon attachments, I was just looking for the metal hand. But great work on all the added detail!

    I don’t know if it was Mexico Day when Tracy made his faux pas, but it was a military parade IN Mexico. Much worse!

  9. Ah, I also cocked up in forgetting about Ted Post doing Beneath the Planet of the Apes. I just remember J. Lee Thomson seeming to take up most of the interview time on the Apes doc.

  10. in mexico, every day is mexico day

  11. OF COURSE 5b)’s Blade Runner, gah! And yet in my head the barker sounds exactly like Tony Randall.

  12. So 6b) would be dwarves playing giants or somesuch?

  13. Nearly. The inverse of norms playing dwarfs would be dwarfs playing norms. Michael Dunn wears false limbs to play a chairbound man of average height in Mulholland Dr. Toby Clark doubles Jonathan Pryce when he fights the giant samurai in Brazil, making the guy playing the samurai (I think he’s the giant guy from Munchausen) look even bigger.

  14. To say that Blade Runner would be improved by the presence of Tony Randall is in no way to disrespect Ridley Scott’s achievement, since ANY film would be improved by Tony. Kagemusha, The Descent, Salo, you name it.

  15. AnneBillson Says:

    8c Carl Orff?

    9b They all have gold teeth? False teeth?

    10b broken noses?

  16. Yes to Orff, but Simon got there first. True Romance and Monster stole the Orff tune from Badlands, displaying a woeful lack of imagination.

    No to teeth and noses, I’m afraid.

  17. AnneBillson Says:

    But film-makers are notoriously lacking in imagination and adventurousness when it comes to classical music. They’re always opting for stuff they’ve heard in other films – how many times have we heard Barber’s Adagio since Stone used it in Platoon? (and he wasn’t the first) Basically I think because few film-makers have much interest in classical music to begin with, so have never bothered to explore it.

    Then there were the Scott brothers and their mini-Lakme contest (Tony used the Flower Duet twice, Ridley used it once, and of course they were followed by everyone else., including whichever ad agency did the British Airways account.

    If there are any film-makers reading this who are looking for classical music to put in their films, I know some great pieces which would be PERFECT for cinema and which have NEVER been used before.

  18. Munchkins would definitely win.

    Blade Runner cannot be improved. It’s is THE great L.A. Movie.
    Runner-Ups: Chinatown, The Long Goodbye and Remember My Name

  19. 10 a –Blindness.

  20. And that score you might have added Esmond Knight.

  21. 1 d) Hollywood or Bust

  22. 2b had major (I would hesitate to say LEAD in Russell’s case, based on the ones I’ve seen) roles in films they directed

    4b, well I know who Jim Mallon is, so I’m guessing they each directed a film consisting mostly of footage from another film

    5d. Zombi 2?

    6e. Munchkins don’t seem much like warriors but they could still take the hobbits, at least Peter Jackson’s hobbits.

    9b. landing in poo piles

  23. Well done, I was wondering who’d get that one.

    You’re right on the blindness. We could add Douglas Slocombe and the guy who shot Spirit of the Beehive too — him and Jarman would make a good team because they both made films while blind.

    Anne, it gets worse, because I think Tony Scott directed the BA commercials. David Lynch used Barber’s Adagio before Stone in The Elephant Man. Lynch seems to care about classical music and avoids the cliche at every turn.

    I might take you up on those classical music suggestions.

  24. The terrible thing is I only knew what the “Flower Duet” was by reading Anne’s description of it… Gah, but having said that it’s use in True Romance is EXTRAORDINARY.

  25. Brandon, I wasn’t thinking of that for 2b, but you’re right.

    4b it’s closer than that… they kind of directed the SAME film, in an odd way…

    5d not what I was thinking of…

    Correct on 9e, the villain in Kusturica’s Black Cat White Cat falls down a latrine, then wipes himself off with a live swan. Biff in BTTF2 is thrown into a dung cart, and Barbara Bach in Caveman is shoved into a giant dinosaur pat.

  26. 2d — Alcoholics

  27. Another essentail L.A. Movie — Losey’s M.

  28. Man, I’ve gotta get to these things earlier.

    5c) Myra Breckenridge
    5d) Vixen

    6e) The audience

    7b) Disembodied speaking heads

    9c) I know it’s not what you’re looking for but I still vote for disturbing birth scenes. Terry Jones in The Meaning of Life, Isabelle Adjani in Possession and Udo Kier in Kingdom.

  29. Ah, Newman must be responsible for THIS ISLAND EARTH, then.

    I’m one of the few who saw Mallon’s MST3K movie in a crowded movie theater, and at the height of my love for the TV show. I assume Jonathan Rosenbaum saw it in a theater too – his zero-star review still hurts my feelings a little.

    My girlfriend missed almost all of Black Cat White Cat, then came in for the latrine scene and was horrified, so now she’ll never watch the rest.

  30. 8b – all feature only diegetic music

  31. Play her the soundtrack!

  32. Sorry that was for Brandon.

  33. Altogether now! Or not!

  34. David E — yes, but alcoholics who did WHAT?

    There are movie fans who really don’t like MST3K, believing the films deserve more respect or something. Which maybe they do, but most of the living filmmakers to get the treatment were over the moon about it, apparently.

    So yes, This Island Earth became MST3K: The Movie.

    Chuck, great answers! Your Udo-Isabelle-Jones link is at least as good as mine, and uses two of the same films!

    Afraid diegetic music isn’t it: think of instruments, and their fate.

  35. 8B, oh, I should have thought of that sooner – they all have musical instruments that end up being incinerated.

    2A is driving me crazy. Every time I think I have it, I think of an exception or can’t find the one necessary link!

  36. Well Berkeley was involved in a traffic collision in which someone was killed. Holden passed out in his home, cracked hi head on the furniture and his body wasn’t discovered for days.

    Not sure about Huston.

  37. 10b) is it emphysema?

  38. Wheeze… yes it is. Mackendrick thought it was poetic justice after he’d made fun of the condition in The Man in the White Suit, where Ernest Thesiger’s gasping head of industry was a caricature of a senior Ealing producer.

    Huston, Holden and Berkeley all killed people while driving. BB was drunk, Holden probably was, Huston passed a drunk test but admitted that it was just dumb luck he hadn’t been drinking that night.

    Gareth, that’s right re the blazing pianos.

    2a is very difficult, but involves violence.

  39. does 2a also involve a pen?

  40. Pens, pencil, typewriter… all writing devices.

  41. 2a) assault with writing implements
    rachel mcadams in RED EYE (pen), denholm elliott in INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE (fountain pen), james caan in MISERY (typewriter) and heath ledger (not sure)

  42. pencil. heath ledger pencil.

  43. Just for the hell of it, MORE Sakamoto:

  44. Correctimundo!

    And you can never have too much R Sakamoto.

  45. AnneBillson Says:

    Sorry if these have already been answered; it’s got to the stage where checking is tricky.

    2c All killed by dildos. (I had to look up Mueller – once you’ve seen what her one role was, the link is obvious.)

    First pic – Sign of the Cross

    Third pic – Blood and Black Lace? Looks giallo to me.

    Fourth pic – Expresso Bongo

  46. Right you are with the dildos/killer penises.

    First pic ain’t sign of the cross. That’s Gina Lollobrigida’s body double, if that helps.

    Third pic ain’t Blood and Black Lace. But it IS the yummy Dany Carrel in a film I wrote about for The Forgotten.

    Second pic I wrote about for Film Club.

    Fourth pic is indeed Expresso Bongo.

  47. AnneBillson Says:

    In that case, I bet first pic is Solomon and Sheba

    Third one looks a bit too modern for Mill of the Stone Women.

  48. Solomon and Sheba is colour, isn’t it? Plus, they didn’t have telescopes to look through, although maybe King Vidor would have changed that.

    Yep, second one isn’t Stone Women (a favourite of Kiyoshi Kurosawa’s, I’m told).


    Guess the director. This rock video was the last film he made before his untimely death.

  50. The second picture in the picture round is Chabrol’s La Rupture, which I watched for Film Club…

    For David E’s bonus question, I’m assuming it’s Warhol since he seems to appear in the clip.

  51. Hmm, the dates seem to fit.

    Other filmmakers with 80s pop vid creds include Ken Russell (Elton John), Derek Jarman (The Smiths) and Lindsay Anderson (Wham! & Cameo), but they all outlived the 80s.

  52. Oh, and yes, La Rupture.

    Surprised nobody has guessed 1a, 5a, 7c, 8d.

    2b, 3a & 3c, 6c, 8a, 9c and 10c are pretty hard. A prize to anyone who gets more than one of them.

  53. AnneBillson Says:

    I got 5a and 7c ages ago! Le fantöme de la liberté and severed hands.

  54. La Faustin Says:

    1a. DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE, 1931. Cue Miriam Hopkins’ deliciously swinging bare leg.

  55. Yep it’s Andy alright. What’s especially funny is his holding cue cards — just like in Dylan’s proto-video of “Subterranean Homesick Blues” (seen at the start of Don’t Look Back) The difference is Dylan’s cards had lyrics on them. Andy’s are blank.

  56. I also like the way he trails after the band like a very strange shadow. I remembered the NY setting of the video but had no memory of it being a Warhol project.

  57. I second taking AnneBillson on her offer of suggested classical pieces!

    Debussy is used beautifully in Ruiz’s latest, NUCINGEN HOUSE.

  58. Didn’t simon kane already get 9c and 10c?

  59. For 8d, the original score was rejected in each case (Lalo Schifrin for The Exorcist, Michel Legrand for Robin and Marian, and Howard Shore for King Kong (Jackson version)).

  60. 6d All three actors also appeared in Star Wars (1977).

  61. Oops, that one was already done. I was confusing it with 6C.

  62. 3c is La prisonnière.

  63. The use of a giant piece of reflective mylar is Pure Andy.

    And how could he resist a band made up entirely of insanely pretty boys?

  64. Wasn’t Sam Peckinpah’s final job of work a video for Julian Lennon?

    I had to go to work and thereby missed the chance to answer the two questions I knew the answers to (both very very easy ones). If I’d had all day to spend and no qualms about Googling, though, watch out world!

  65. David E. Yes, it did occur to me that Warhol may have found that the video was a project whose value could not be calculated in terms of the paycheck alone, or even principally. There were an awful lot of 1980s British bands made up of insanely pretty boys, whose doings and utterances were lavishly chronicled and fictionalised in “Smash Hits.”

  66. 2b) They directed their own death scenes?

  67. And who wrote for “Smash Hits”?

  68. I read way too much of that magazine: I’m still spouting bits of the lingo twenty-something years later to my (American) wife’s puzzlement.

  69. Well done everyone! And yes, some of the questions I thought were unanswered had been answered.

    2b is maybe too vague. All are directors who played directors in movies. But I should have limited it to real or fictional directors.

    3a may be impossible. Rene Clair’s Les Belles de Nuit, anyone?

    8a is to do with an unusual instrument.

  70. Belles de Nuit! Hm, I wonder why I’d assumed it was silent.
    David E: that Warhol nugget has blown my mind, a billion thanks.

  71. I think it looks like a silent because it has an iris round it. But that’s Gerard Philippe’s telescope. The naughty man.

  72. You’re welcome, Simon.

    Oh how I adore Gerard Philippe!

  73. He’s great, isn’t he? The slightly strange beauty, soulful eyes, and the acting chops to boot. One in several million.

  74. Louis Garrel has a lot of his mojo.

  75. He’s certainly got something.

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