Archive for February 7, 2009

Them Dry Bones

Posted in FILM with tags , on February 7, 2009 by dcairns

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As part of my ongoing quest to watch all the films in Denis Gifford’s A Pictorial History of Horror Movies, a quest I’ve subtitled “See REPTILICUS and die,” I downloaded a Japanese feel-good movie called THE LIVING SKELETON, which has fan-made subtitles. I was interested to learn that the Christian funeral rites in Japan are slightly different to those in the occident.

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“He is a kindhearted person, he is a confident person. He is a strong person too, everybody has got his kind consideration. He is a person with principle. Hope he can get the liking of God, amen.”

“Amen.”

“Let him remove the smoke of gunpowder from this world, resume the life carefree, amen.”

“Amen.”

“Soul of letting that of his purified, come back to god side, amen.”

Amen.”

“Wish him to be full of good mood, amen forever.”

“Amen.”

“Wish him to live calmly in the world without smoke of gunpowder.”

“Wish God will be your daughter as soon as possible i-”

And then, alas, he’s interrupted. On the one hand, the more informal language makes the oration feel down-to-earth and homely. On the other hand, bits of it are quite hard to figure out, but they’re no worse than all that stuff about the Trinity and the Holy Ghost and all that, which absolutely nobody understands. So I’m proposing the Church of Christ the Fan-Subtitled, in which all ceremonies, prayers, and indeed the whole Holy Bible will have been translated into Japanese and back again, to see what will happen. Will it bring us closer to God, or closer to the instruction manual from a 1980s VCR?

Wish God will be all our daughters.

Amen.