Chimpan Alley

“I sez callin’ all trucks, this here’s The Duck
We about to go a huntin’ bear.” ~ a Wise Man.

Cheeta the chimp (real name Jiggs) has not only written an autobiography, as reported here.

He’s released a charity single.

It’s a cover version of the theme from CONVOY.

(I’m not making any of this up.)

I thought about this until my brain prolapsed out my neck, and I finally figured it out.

Cheeta — chimp — B.J. and the Bear (or EVERY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE if you prefer) — trucks — CONVOY.

Simple, really.

But what we now require is a REMAKE of CONVOY with the septuagenarian chimp in the Kris Kristofferson role. Chimps in ALL the roles! Except Ernest Borgnine, we need him to reprise his part as the sheriff, to give the thing some dignity.

“You know, on most movies you have some good days and some bad days. I don’t feel like I’ve had one single good day on this movie.” ~ Sam Peckinpah.


15 Responses to “Chimpan Alley”

  1. Brilliant. I particularly like the bit where Tarzan just chucks himself through the window and dangles, meaninglessly.

    Just acquired Tarzan Escapes, the one Wild Bill Wellman directed most of, which I recall reaches heights of frenzy and depths of racism (blacked-up dwarfs playing cannibalistic pygmies, sacrificing Jane to a “gorilla” in a pit) calculated to warp the sturdiest young mind.

  2. Here’s the trailer Wish the quality of the print were better.

  3. Argh, Lex Barker always creeps me out after Lana Turner’s daughter’s revelations!

  4. Haven’t seen that Endfield, sounds tempting. I recall the John Guillermin Tarzan’s Greatest Adventure with Gordon Scott and a nubile Connery as being surprisingly hard-edged, but Guillermin nearly always brings a streak of ruthlessness to his work.

  5. I couldn’t find a clip of Lex barker in La Dolce Vita. Fellini utilizes Barker’s creepiness to great effect there, as he insults Anita and later slugs Marcello.

  6. Yes, and isn’t that inspired by Anthony Quayle’s behaviour (or something)? As captured by Italian paparazzi some months previously. As anita’s Trevi Fountain wade is inspired by a real, much-reported paddling incident during her previous trip to Rome.

  7. La Dolce Vita is a documentary in the form of a fictional drama.
    When Nico tells Marcello she’s given up modelling that indeed had just happened. Laura Betti’s fight with Marcello in the final party scene is a restaging of a fight she’d had with a journalist. Nadia Gray’s strip was a restaging of a strip that took place in a Roman nightclub. Their are real aristocrats in the Bassano di Sutri party sequence. Iris Tree plays herself in the scene of Steiner’s party. “Sylvia” is Anita — in every way.

    And as we all know Fellini gave the paparazzi their name via “Paparazzo” (played by Walter Santesso)

  8. Indeed. And only at the end does it stray into allegory, with the evocation of the Dominici Affair (also more directly the subject of Mike Hodges’ terrific movie Pulp).

  9. Oops! I had to look up the Dominici Affair to find out what it was, and I still don’t know why I’ve even heard of it. Which one did Orson Welles try to make a film about?

  10. Orson Welles began a film on the Dominici Affair. It was part of the “Around the World with Orson Welles” TV series and was assembled a few years ago. It’s available on DVD.

    But it has nothing to do with La Dolce Vita. That’s the Montessi Scandal, which arose when the body of a seemingly ordinary secretary was found on the beach at Ostia. She was presumed to have died of “natural causes” — a heart attack. But reports surfaced of foul play that were neevr confirmed, and never dismissed either. Her family made up an absurd story about her going to the beach to wash her swollen feet. But as the invstigation evolved it was discovered she was a small-time “party girl” whose possible “clients” were interrogated by the police — and gossiped about by the scandal press ( see also Visconti’s episode of Boccaccio 70 for the skinny on the scandal press.) In the end nothing came o it — save a kind of tabloid “cautionary tale” aout hanging out with the ‘wrong crowd. So at the end of La Dolce Vita when the bleary-eyed partygoers go down to the beach to find out what the commotion is all about for Italians the boy of Wilma Montessi is what they expected to see. Instead Fellini gives them a dead bloated fish. It’s a very pointed sick joke.

  11. That clears it up for me. Thanks!

    Around the World with Orson Welles is great fun. Must try and get the reconstructed bit.

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