A Shirt in the Dark

“The world of a young housewife is turned upside down when she has an affair with a free-spirited blouse salesman.”

This is a blurb for an actual movie (A WALK ON THE MOON)! What’s kind of adorable is the assumption of the blurber that, of all the information that could be imparted to make people want to see the movie, the male lead’s occupation, selling chemiserie, ranks very high on the list.

With this new wisdom at our disposal, how easily we can see the missed opportunities of the past. What movie could not be greatly improved by the addition of a “free-spirited blouse salesman”? I bet George Lucas is rounding up his nerds as I type, urging them to prepare new Special Blouse Editions of all his previous films, digitally inserting happy-go-lucky ladies’ shirt vendors into every scene.

STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW BLOUSE.

EPISODE I: THE BLOUSON MENACE.

And so on. 

Shall we call him LUKE SKYBLOUSER, or LUKE BLOUSEWALKER?

I know, let’s call him BLOUSE BLOUSEBLOUSER. No sense doing these things by halves.

Of course there will also be DEATH OF A BLOUSE SALESMAN, BLOUSE HUNT, THE BLOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL, BLOUSE FROM THE MUMMY’S TOMB, THE OUTLAW BLOUSY WALES, MO’ BETTER BLOUSE, and THE FOUR HUNDRED BLOUSE.

Oh, it’ll be great.