Archive for PG Wodehouse

The Sunday Intertitle: What Ho!

Posted in FILM, literature, Television with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 28, 2013 by dcairns

From Something Fresh by PG Wodehouse ~

The reason why all we novelists with bulging foreheads and expensive educations are abandoning novels and taking to writing motion picture scenarii is because the latter are so infinitely more simple and pleasant.

If this narrative, for instance, were a film-drama, the operator at this point would flash on the screen the words:

scarab

and for a brief moment the audience would see an interior set, in which a little angry man with a sharp face and staring eyes would register first, Discovery, next Dismay. The whole thing would be over in an instant.

The printed word demands a greater elaboration.

Love that “operator”. Something Fresh is the first Blandings novel, from 1915, and is surprisingly realistic and convincing — very GOSFORD PARK in its below-stairs detail, and shows a Wodehouse who is quite modern and up-to-the-minute, even referring to that latest craze,  the movies, several times.

(My reconstructed intertitle makes use of one from Lubitsch’s DAS WEIB DES PHARAO.)

Considering PG Wodehouse seems to be so hard to film, it’s interesting that so many film critics of my acquaintance are fans. It was a critic friend who got me into Wodehouse, observing that since I seemed to like this kind of thing, it was strange that I wasn’t already a fan, since Wodehouse was the apogee of this kind of thing. I’m still not sure what “this kind of thing” is — either verbal wit or intricate plotting, I guess — but he was certainly right.

Farran Smith Nehme (the Self-Styled Siren) and Glenn Kenny and I got together over a plate of fried chicken, we talked about Wodehouse almost as much as we talked about movies. My collaborator on NATAN, Paul Duane, is a fellow enthusiast. And Kristin Thompson is archivist of the PG Wodehouse Archive, which beats anything I can come up with. No doubt more bloggers and critics will be happy to declare themselves devotees of Plum.

As noted before, there are few good Wodehouse adaptations. The TV stuff I’ve seen all seems forced (Wodehouse Playhouse), miscast (World of Wooster) or violently wrong in every particular (Blandings). Even the fondly remembered Jeeves and Wooster, which boasted a fine comedy double-act in the title roles (I imagine House fans find the earlier incarnation of Hugh Laurie rather puzzling) but struggles to get the overall timing right. It was mostly directed by Ferdinand Fairfax, who has the advantage of sounding like a member of the Drones Club himself, but for a special treat you can see episodes helmed by Robert Young, director of VAMPIRE CIRCUS. Does he adapt well to this new genre and tone? He does not.

PiccadillyJimLife

At the cinema, things have been, if anything, worse. The first version of PICCADILLY JIM (1919) appears to be lost, while the second (1937) throws out the plot and the third is set in a BRAZIL-meets-Baz Luhrmann mixture of modern and period. While I understand the director’s point that Wodehouse stories take place in an ahistoric fantasy world — this particular novel, written and published during the Great War, has the characters steaming across the Atlantic several times, unhindered by U-boats, and the conflict that thinned out the numbers of the real-life Jim Crocketts and Bertie Woosters is nowhere mentioned — the device seems to strained and heavy to work. Anything which draws attention away from the language and zippy narrative developments seems like it would be a hindrance.

The Hollywood films of Wodehouse’s era were ideally equipped to capture his tone, since they employed a battery of stylised approaches so widely used that the audience could digest them without the slightest trouble. The studio sets, elegant lighting, impossible gowns, caricatured bit-players, rapid-fire delivery, all suited Wodehouse to a tee — it’s just tragic that the delicate Wodehouse touch never survived passage through the studio machine, except in the case of A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS, when the lighter-than-air dancing of Fred Astaire proved a neat match for the nimble narrative footwork.

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An interesting case in point is THOSE FOUR FRENCH GIRLS, which has dialogue credited to Plum. There’s a lot of “What ho!” going on in it, and Reginald Denny plays a jolly top-hatted twit with a blustering uncle, so one can see that there was a genuine effort being made to supply the visiting literary titan with conducive material. This being a pre-code about three French girls, there’s a relentless sexiness to the tone which is quite un-Wodehousian, but that needn’t have been an insurmountable problem. Vulgaririzing Wodehouse is fatal — as in the regular manure jokes in the recent BBC Blandings catastrophe — but pepping him up with some girls in camiknickers might be acceptable, especially if the girls are Yola D’Avril, Fifi D’Orsay and Sandra Ravel. Interestingly, I just read an early Wodehouse story, The Man Who Disliked Cats, narrated mainly in a thick French accent, and it’s a voice Wodehouse does well. I always find his American characters amusingly bizarre — there’s an inescapable Englishness to the Wodehouse sentence structure which sits oddly with the yank slang, but that just makes the whole effect funnier. While the British characters seem completely real in their own unreal way, the Americans are filtered through the mind of an upper-middle-class Brit. Here, Cliff “Ukelele Ike” Edwards and Edward Brophy are the ugly Americans in Paris, perhaps a bit too harsh at times, but sort of fun.

The whole film is too harsh, though. Wodehouse manages to make the odd outburst of violence — policemen getting punched in the eye, dignified gentlemen being bitten by small dogs, children being bitten by pigs — seem like part of the fun. Here, right at the start, Denny encourages the girls to drop flower pots on their landlord, which might have been OK if he hadn’t looked so much like Georges Melies. The actual sight of an elderly man cowering on the pavement in a growing mound of dirt as hard, heavy objects rain down upon his venerable head, is horribly brutal and degrading. It’s a bum note from which the movie never recovers — if we don’t like the characters, the mechanics of engineering a happy romantic conclusion can’t compel our interest.

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There is one very nice and very Wodehousian line though, as Denny describes the family estate: “The River Ipple lies at the bottom of the garden, except in winter, when the garden lies at the bottom of the River Ipple.”

The two British JEEVES movies seem to get everything wrong, or speaking very generously, they choose to go after entirely different effects from Wodehouse. Jeeves is not really a comic character, and making him a buffoon is a strange choice. Dispensing with Bertie altogether in the second film is even stranger. David Niven would be quite nice casting for Wooster, if he were allowed to play the part as written. Interestingly, he’s the only actor to have played Uncle Fred, my favourite Plum character, in a TV adaptation of Uncle Fred Flits By. I’ve been unable to obtain a copy.

robert-greig

Casting is a delicate business. Take the Blandings books. I always imagine Robert greig as Beach the butler, as Beach is portly and he’s described as an archetypal speciment of the butler species, and that’s exactly what Greig was. Always buttling or valeting, from SULLIVAN’S TRAVELS to UNFAITHFULLY YOURS. It’s a shock to see him do anything else. Miles Malleson played the part in a 1933 film which he also adapted. I have Claude Rains assigned mentally to the role of the Honorable Galahad, since he’s small, dapper, clearly cunning and whimsical, and with just enough iron.

I’m fascinated by the existence of various Swedish Wodehouse adaptations. Maybe that’s the tone Bergman was aiming for with ABOUT THESE WOMEN…

Although Timothy Spall, looking like a deflated balloon, was a better Emsworth than I expected, especially considering his unsuitable surroundings, in the BBC Blandings, Peter O’Toole, a better physical fit, was all wrong in an earlier TV film of Heavy Weather. Yes, he can do dreamy — he always does dreamy — but there’s a pointed quality to his every utterance as if he were scoring points. It seems to be inherent in him, from LAURENCE to MY FAVORITE YEAR: his vagueness is calculated to defeat his foes, rather being a fog through which he blunders, which is the character Wodehouse created.

emsw

I was excited to learn that Ralph Richardson took the role in a 1967 series (Stanley Holloway was Beach and Jimmy Edwards was Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe). That just seems perfect. Even more perfect, the series was erased, so it can now stand in our minds as a Platonic ideal of Wodehouse adaptation, along with the 1919 PICCADILLY JIM — we can say with confidence that the perfect Wodehouse adaptation does not exist.

The Sunday Intertitle: Wodehouse Playhouse

Posted in FILM, literature, MUSIC with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2013 by dcairns

No sooner had I finished turning one of Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald’s literary intertitles into an actual graphic, than I stumble upon another story with an intertitle in it, this time PG Wodehouse’s Pigs Have Wings (a Blandings novel). The relevant bit goes –

If she had appeared, looking as she was looking now, in one of the old silent films, there would have flashed on the screen some such caption as:

salt

The missing comma that makes the second sentence read very awkwardly, is of course deliberate satire. It’s 1952 and he’s making fun of silent movie title writers. One of the remarkable things about Wodehouse is that his failure, or refusal, to move with the times does not harm his work, or hardly at all. No doubt facilitated by the fact that he never returned to England after WWII, he went on writing a world that never advanced socially from the 1930s, and indeed has much of the early 1900s about it. But because his particular comic universe simply had to be insulated from the darker things in life anyway (other comics thrive on darkness: Wodehouse can only use the tiniest grain of it), this time-capsule effect isn’t a problem at all, except when some glancing reference to modern events creeps in. When Roderick Spode, Wodehouse’s devastating parody of fascist Oswald Mosely, returns in the very last Jeeves & Wooster book, there’s some mental confusion created in the reader about when this is all happening — it can’t be 1974, when the book was published, but when is it? Spode has given up on fascism some time back, it seems, but WWII is not mentioned — it simply couldn’t be (WWII was a painful subject for poor Plum).

Wodehouse engaged with the cinema quite a bit, or tried to, but apart from the excellent A DAMSEL IN DISTRESS, co-scripted by him from one of his own books, little of his work has really succeeded on the screen. This is odd, since filmmakers have been trying since 1915. Wodehouse had success on the stage; his dialogue is exquisite, if protracted (Hollywood tried to get him to cut it down, which rather ruins the effect, since circumlocution and repetition are such major tools in his comic armoury); his plots are ingenious; and he had a handy sideline as lyricist, though the movies didn’t exploit that much either, apart from the sublime song Bill appearing in all three versions of SHOWBOAT.

Piccadilly Jim, Wodehouse’s first big bestseller, was first adapted in 1919, and again in 2005. I had a look at the 1936 version. It keeps the characters and throws out the whole story. Well, arguably the story is a bit too convoluted, and has some tricky backstory coming in from a previous novel. Charles Brackett had a hand in the new plot, and dialogue is courtesy of Samuel Hoffenstein (of the very mildly Wodehouseian country house comedy CLUNY BROWN) and Lynn Starling (ditto HE MARRIED HIS WIFE). Robert Montgomery and Frank Morgan are well cast.

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So why does it seem so strained and unfunny? Precisely the quality that a Wodehouse piece has got to not have. I think it’s because they’re trying to write funny dialogue for the characters. Witty dialogue. This is a fairly major misunderstanding of Wodehouse, whose characters are rarely witty on purpose. Like the best comic characters, they’re funny in spite of themselves, just by being so openly and helplessly themselves. When the Jim of the novel asks for a job, he doesn’t get laughs intentionally, but by stressing how he really doesn’t mind what he does as long as it isn’t work. Work would be a waste of his talents. But he’s sunnily certain he’ll be a great success in any position which doesn’t require him to exert himself.

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Glancing through Between Flops, James Curtis’s biography of Preston Sturges, I was pleased to find Sturges, in a letter, expressing supreme admiration for Wodehouse. And it occurred to me that THE PALM BEACH STORY is a Wodehouse type of story, filtered through the brasher Sturges sensibility. It’s a comedy about the deserving poor trying to get into the pockets of the frivolous rich, by various impostures and lies.

Then I read Wodehouse’s Uncle Dynamite (Uncle Fred may be mu favourite Wodehouse character: too bad he’s in so few stories), and it seemed to me that the influence worked both ways. The novel, written in 1948, opens with a young man on a train being embarrassed by an impromptu welcoming committee waiting for him at the platform — a situation Sturges introduced in HAIL THE CONQUERING HERO. And the young man is just back from a trip up the Amazon, like Henry Fonda in THE LADY EVE.

Did Wodehouse borrow lightly from Sturges on this occasion? It would be nice to think so, and certainly Sturges would have been flattered.

The Mysterious Mr If, Part the If-teenth

Posted in FILM, literature with tags , , , on September 5, 2011 by dcairns

I seem to recall last week’s episode, and much of this week’s, were added to The Mysterious Mr If at second draft stage (yes! there were two drafts!). A producer had pronounced the script exciting but asked for more of a character arc. And this is what he got.

In redrafting I was violating Jerry Lewis’s dictum that one cannot rewrite comedy. I’m not sure Lewis is correct — I think what perhaps he means is that HE cannot rewrite comedy. But he is at least partially onto something. If you come up with a joke/gag/line/situation that actually makes you laugh, I mean ACTUALLY, and you’re able to get it down in as close as possible to the form it came to you in, that’s as close to money in the bank as exists in the precarious world of humour. And if you then tamper with it, in hopes of achieving improvement, it’s very tricky, because unless you manage to make yourself laugh all over again, how do you know you’re not actually ruining it? And even if you do make yourself laugh, are you laughing based on your knowledge of the original joke/gag/line/situation, knowledge your intended audience won’t possess?

There are certainly numerous ways to screw up good material in a rewrite, notable among them the temptation to interpolate one gag into another, which violates the Zucker Proposition: only tell one joke at a time. This proposition seems to hold water under most if not all circumstances, and is part of the reason comedy is notoriously a bit difficult: you want to get the laughs coming at a fair lick, but you’re prevented from going for more than one at a time. For this reason, long-form comedy sometimes benefits from a sedate and not-too-hilarious first act, where a number of plot points and characters can be set up in leisurely fashion, paving the way for a fast and furious series of pay-offs later. 

But I was interested to hear PG Wodehouse, in an archive interview quoted in a recent BBC documentary, saying that rewriting was the most pleasurable part of his job. And I could see how that makes sense. Wodehouse’s plots are intricate, machine-tooled things of rare brilliance, obviously an absolute swine to work out. They’re funny in and of themselves because they’re so ridiculously contrived (and yet perfectly credible within his story world). But the other level of comedy, which is kind of superimposed over that (sort of defying the Zucker Proposition), is the language in which the plot is expressed, and here Wodehouse scores laughs simply by how he describes things. One can see that a first draft might include expositional and scene-setting sentences that aren’t funny in themselves, while a polish would turn even the most straightforward, informational bit into something with its own comedic snap and flounce.

Anyhow, all I did in rewriting MR IF was add some more silly stuff, which follows.

Now read on –

INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

Ticking.

Sheena examines the wall with the door painted on it in frustration, using her specs as a crude magnifying glass. She sighs – not a crack in it.

On the cinema screen, a shot of stars twinkling.

MR. IF (V.O.)

This is The Universe. Modern science reveals it as nought but a collection of microscopic particles, perhaps as many as fifty-seven.

Shot of dividing cells seen through a microscope. A title: PARTICLES.

SHEENA

Think, damn it! A locked room mystery? There must be a way out! Or at least a way in.

A WHIRRING.

A clockwork MOUSE trundles its way towards Sheena. Dragging from its tail are little metal boots, like the one you get as a counter in a game of Monopoly.

Sheena follows the mouse.

MR. IF (V.O.)

These particles, known to physics as “items”, perform many functions.

A shot of a rocking chair and a beach ball, side by side.

MR. IF (V.O.)

They stop one thing from becoming another.

A SPINDLY MAN enters and looks at the chair and beach ball.

MR. IF (V.O.)

But what if we WANT one thing to become another?

The man sits on the ball, falls off, and lies as if dead.

Sheena’s mouse weaves about the room at speed and vanishes into a cartoony mouse hole in the skirting board.

A sharp CRACK. Sheena looks around. No sign of what that was.

MR. IF (V.O.)

What if we wish to be freed from the tyranny of these so-called “items”?

If appears in close-up, delighted.

MR. IF (V.O.)

Good news! For now we can! Scientism now reveals that matter is composed of energy, which is information. Facts are all that imprison us!

(sudden deep voice)

WHERE IS MY FILE?

Beside the mouse hole is a little glass pedestal with a miniature whiskey bottle on it. The label on the bottle says DRINK ME.

SHEENA

Well…what have I got to lose?

She takes a swig from the miniature.

CREAK! A much larger mouse hole opens in the wall. Large enough for Sheena to crawl through.

She crawls through.

MR. IF (V.O.)

WHERE IS MY FILE? WHERE IS MY FILE?

INT. NEW ROOM, WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

Sheena reaches the next room, where she finds the clockwork mouse crushed in the grip of a mousetrap. Little springs and cogs spill from the rodent’s ruptured tin carcass.

Just past the slain automaton, a wicker basket.

Sheena crawls the few feet to it and looks in.

Her reflection looks out at her, puzzled.

And from the ceiling a Guillotine blade is released, falling towards Sheena’s exposed neck.

SHUNK!

EXT. ZOO – NIGHT

Turner slams the door on Howie’s cage, with Howie, and Edward Woodward in his box, inside it.

TURNER

Stay here. Stay out of trouble. I’ll let you know when we crack the case.

HOWIE

(under his breath)

Fat chance of that.

He takes some fish from his pocket and gives it to the cat.

HOWIE

Let me have a last look at that note.

Turner sighs and shows it to him.

HOWIE

“Serge herd high her crag retch egg fleck.”

TURNER

Call me if you think of anything. Leave a message if I’m out. DO NOT try to investigate this yourself. I’m a detective and you’re an exhibit and there are reasons for that.

Turner marches off, leaving Howie disgruntled.

HOWIE

(to Edward Woodward)

What would author John Fowles do in this situation?

INT. WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

Sheena’s body lies next to the great guillotine blade, now embedded in the floor.

She moves.

She sits up – her head is still attached. She rubs her scalp, which has had a tiny piece of hair shaved off, like a micro monk’s tonsure. She looks at her hands. The middle fingernails have been clipped short, her other nails are long. The trailing Marigold sleeves of her bridal gown are truncated, losing several latex fingertips.

SHEENA

What would Miss Marple do in this situation?

She shouts up at the ceiling:

SHEENA

Motherfucker!

Her voice reverberates off into the dark, formless room.

REVERBERATIONS

Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Motherfucker!

She gets up, furious.

SHEENA

I’m a human being!

REVERBERATIONS

I’m a human beeeeeee-aaaaaaaaaa-rrrrrrrrrr-oooooooo-eeeeeee…where is my file?

The echo, in Sheena’s voice but saying something she didn’t say, freaks her out. She looks around for an exit.

A mural of William Blake’s The Ghost of a Flea points to a black curtain. Sheena fights her way through the folds into -

INT. BOUDOIR, WAREHOUSE – NIGHT

Representative fragments of an opulent shagging parlour assembled in a bare brick bunker.

A dressing table covered with gingerbread men, some of them broken. The dressing mirror is badly warped.

An ancient gramophone crackles out thirties British jazz. The singer sounds stoned and distant.

SINGER (ON RECORD)

Where, oh where, is my file?

Was it eaten by a crododile?

Did you give it to a necrophile?

Where, oh where, is my file?

The floor is a field of poppies.

A khaki bowling ball.

A massive bed. The covers pulls themselves aside seductively.

Sheena takes an unsteady step. She’s dizzy.

The poppies…

In the dressing table mirror she sees the reflection of a STAGE DOOR sign. She turns and staggers to the door.

It’s another trompe l’oeil painting.

She lurches away and sits down heavily on the bed.

SHEENA

Think…think. When you have eliminated the impossible…

The poppies wave hypnotically…

The record slows down, down, down…

Sheena’s eyelids grow heavy…

SHEENA

When you have eliminated six impossible things before breakfast…

An alarm clock TICKS: ten to twelve…

SHEENA

When you have eliminated breakfast, whatever remains must be true…

Sheena falls back into bed and everything goes out of focus.

EXT. ZOO  - DAY

Howie puts down his copy of THE MAGUS. Looks around at the various herd animals in the zoo -

HOWIE

“Serge herd high…” Herd… Herd animals… Zebras… Giraffes… Impalas

- and spots a stiff man in a blue serge suit watching the impalas. This is HORACE FOYLE.

Howie slips from his cage and approaches.

HOWIE

I have a note containing the word “serge” which your suit seems to chime with.

HORACE FOYLE

That’s an unusual but, on the whole, refreshing way to open a conversation.

HOWIE

Thanks. What do you do for a living?

HORACE FOYLE

Again, a pleasing bluntness. I am Horace Foyle, mountaineer.

HOWIE

So the words “high” and “crag”, on my note also have some relevance.

HORACE FOYLE

You could say that. May I see this note?

HOWIE

I committed it to memory. Some git has it now.

HORACE FOYLE

That seems a shame. Join me for eggs in the zoo cafeteria and we’ll discuss this further.

INT. CHICKEN LITTLE’S CAFE, ZOO -DAY

Howie and Foyle at a formica table, a soft-boiled egg apiece.

Howie stares at his as if trying to divine some hidden meaning from it.

Foyle decapitates his egg and spoons in a hot mouthful.

HORACE FOYLE

You seem distracted, my friend. As one who often scales an Alp before breakfast, I -

Foyle begins to choke. Bits of eggs spray from his mouth and spatter his suit. Howie stares, transfixed, as Foyle begins to turn blue.

HOWIE

“Serge herd high her crag retch egg fleck.” It’s all there. But WHY?

Foyle keels over.

INT. BOUDOIR, WAREHOUSE – DAY

Sheena, still sat on the bed. Her head nods sleepily.

The room swims in and out of focus.

SINGER (ON RECORD)

Where, oh where, is my file?

Did mail it to a distant isle?

Or did you spatter it with camomile?

Where, oh where, is my file?

Sheena comes to her senses a little, frowning at something:

The EXIT sign over the fake door actually says TIXE. The letters are reversed.

SHEENA

Back words. Word’s back…wards.

Only in the dressing table mirror does the sign reads EXIT.

Sheena groggily gets up, tripping on the khaki bowling ball in the middle of the poppy field floor.

She picks it up and looks at her warped image in the mirror.

SHEENA

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

She lobs the ball at the mirror.

SMASH.

SHEENA

Here’s a khaki bowling ball.

A secret passageway, opening onto darkness. A rumble as the ball trundles away into the gloom.

Sheena drunkenly throws herself through and plummets -

INT. CHICKEN LITTLE’S CAFE – DAY

UCK!

Howie Heimlichs the purple mountaineer and dislodges a morsel from his windpipe. As he does so, the unfortunate man’s leg comes off. A Prosthesis.

Howie notes carved letters on the plastic shin as the artificial appendage inches from the trouser leg.

HOWIE

A prosthesis?

HORACE FOYLE

My real one was -

(chokes)

snapped off by an enraged mammoth. I had this leg whittled from its tusk.

This is obviously bollocks.

HOWIE

What’s this written on it?

HORACE FOYLE

There’s nothing written on my leg.

HOWIE

Don’t be an arse. It says here, “Hawk guru to fig your ate.”

EXT. POLICE STATION – DAY

A big number 8 – the police station’s address. Turner pulls up in his car. His mobile rings – it’s PC. Thrower.

THROWER (PHONE)

No luck, Inspector. We’ve got men scouring the crags, searching chicken farms, and watching out for anything in serge. We’ve drawn a blank.

TURNER

I’m outside.

He hangs up and is about to get out when True Crime, the eraser-handed author, climbs into the passenger seat. Turner barely tolerates the stench of the man.

TRUE CRIME

I betook me the liberty of erasing the car door of your car so we could make hot conference. I bethought me something that might give you succor. A gleaning from my own mishap. In his stroppy jaunt to annihilation, If is inimical to factual account of his being. The dossier, file or coupon – these are his foes.

TURNER

Yes, there’s been some confusion about the whereabouts of his file.

TRUE CRIME

And, oh inspector, what of the duplicate?

Turner starts his car -

TURNER

Thanks, True Crime – you’ve given me an idea.

But the malodorous informant is gone.

To be continued…

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