Archive for May 1, 2012

Timequake!

Posted in FILM with tags , , on May 1, 2012 by dcairns

Help! — a disruption in the space-time-cinema continuum has resulted in a number of classics from the 1970s now being made in the early 1930s instead. I’ll show you what I mean…

Ronald Reagan honestly believed that the guy who tried to kill him was obsessed with a film called TAXI! Well, now he’s right — James Cagney plays Travis Bickle, Loretta Young is Betsy, Guy Kibbee is Wizard, David Landau is Sport. The happy ending looks even more dreamlike.

THE GODFATHER now stars George Arliss as Don Corleone, with David Manners as Michael, Jack La Rue as Sonny, and Dwight Frye as Fredo. And it’s 68 minutes long.

LAST TANGO IN PARIS stars Jack La Rue and Loretta Young. It’s all filmed from the waist up, but if anything it’s more obscene.

STAR WARS stars El Brendel. Playing every role. Due to the wonder of special effects.

THE FRENCH CONNECTION stars Spencer Tracy, with Maurice Chevalier as the connection.

GREASE stars Astaire and Rogers. And I guess it must be set in the 1910s. Get out your antimacassars!

Suggestions welcome.

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