Let George Do It

Maybe the pre-teen years of this century will be remembered as the era in which George C. Scott mash-ups replaced all other forms of art. Certainly, the video that intersplices Gorgeous George “emoting” in HARDCORE with the trailer for Adam Sandler’s JACK AND JILL is getting a lot of play, and I inadvertently anticipated it by mangling the poster for Scott’s self-directed vehicle RAGE. Now, my friend Brian Robinson draws my attention to the poster for DAY OF THE DOLPHIN, which has a unique tagline I can’t believe hasn’t been widely copied. The basic approach could apply to any movie.

DIE HARD: “Accidentally, he dirtied his vest, then killed everybody.”

GANGS OF NEW YORK: “Mistakenly, he set out to avenge his father’s death then didn’t do anything about it for hours of screen time.”

LAST YEAR AT MARIENBAD: “Unintentionally, they mooned around a big house, unable to make up their minds what was going on.”

I’d love to hear your own suggestions…

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41 Responses to “Let George Do It”

  1. TREE OF LIFE: “Quite by chance, the entirety of everything burped into existence, ultimately upsetting Sean Penn.”

  2. david wingrove Says:

    Inadvisably, they sent butter sales plummeting to an all-new low.
    – LAST TANGO IN PARIS

    Unwisely, he trusted a woman with an ankle-bracelet.
    – DOUBLE INDEMNITY

    Wastefully, they had all their fun off camera.
    – The Liz Taylor/Richard Burton CLEOPATRA

    Creepily, he convinced us that idiocy was a patriotic duty.
    – FORREST GUMP

    I could play this game forever and probably will.

  3. david wingrove Says:

    Languidly, they stood in a field and picked some corn.
    – DAYS OF HEAVEN

  4. david wingrove Says:

    Naively, they thought the world would believe they were married.
    – Jodie Foster and Richard Gere in SOMMERSBY

    Even more naively, they thought the world might care if they were married or not.
    – Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in EYES WIDE SHUT

  5. Jenny Eardley Says:

    They could do something similar with Jack Palance in Le Mepris, chucking film tins across the projection room and shouting.

  6. Accidentally on purpose.
    – David Cronenberg’s CRASH

  7. “Unintentionally, he rode about on a worm and became the new messiah.” – Dune.

  8. Mistakenly, they went on holiday.
    – WITHNAIL& I

  9. Ill-advisedly she changed the drapes — The Cobweb

  10. “Thoughtlessly, they made a movie.” — Casino Royale.

  11. David Boxwell Says:

    Unconvincingly, together they went on an adventure into the erotic underworld.
    —EYES WIDE SHUT

  12. David Boxwell Says:

    Upliftingly, he witnessed his mother’s killing.
    –BAMBI

  13. David Boxwell Says:

    Repetitively, they vanquished all threats to a twee conception of the British boarding school.
    –HARRY POTTER AND THE ADJECTIVE VERB

  14. David Boxwell Says:

    correction: HARRY POTTER AND THE ADJECTIVE NOUN.

    Seductively, they massed by flaming torchlight.
    –TRIUMPH OF THE WILL

  15. David Boxwell Says:

    Embarrassingly, they had a bromantic adventure in Morocco.
    –ISHTAR

  16. My take on Eyes Wide Shut would be:

    Unknowingly, he failed to get laid with a grieving woman, a prostitute, and at an orgy.

    For 2001: Involuntarily, they presided over the evolution of the human race from ape to starchild.

  17. “Unfortunately, he murdered his wife and tried to forget it.”
    -SHUTTER ISLAND and INCEPTION.

    Your tagline for EWS, David C. demands a simple addition, “a grieving woman, a prostitue, at an orgy and with his wife.”

  18. To keep with the George C. Scott theme:

    “Unknowingly, he fathered a very Oedipal child”
    -THE BEAST IS LOOSE

  19. Oops, that’s THE SAVAGE IS LOOSE. Damned coffeeless morning.

  20. Unfortunately, a beige cowled sweater is not as macho as a filthy singlet.
    – DIE HARD 2: DIE HARDER

  21. david wingrove Says:

    More on the George C Scott theme…

    Valiantly, he preserved our precious bodily fluids.
    – DR. STRANGELOVE

    Obscenely, he glorified militarism at the height of the Vietnam War.
    – PATTON

    Lazily, he basked in the sun till we all fell asleep.
    – ISLANDS IN THE STREAM

  22. Amazingly, he still got the girl after balling her mom.
    – THE GRADUATE

  23. Pasolini’s Edipo Re would make all too easy a target for this.

    “Unthinkingly, he took megadoses of peyote in an isolation tank and devolved into an apeman and then a primal energy being. I think.” – Altered States.

  24. Astonishingly, they expected us to believe that watery-eyed spunkbag Michael Douglas wasn’t already an habitual philanderer.
    – FATAL ATTRACTION

  25. “Wittingly, he made a movie about unwittingly training a dolphin to kill the President.” – The Day of the Dolphin

    “Willingly, I was retrained to kill the director.” – The Day of the Dolphin II: Flipper’s Revenge

  26. David Boxwell Says:

    Mystifyingly, he laid every member of a family of capitalist pigs.
    –TEOREMA.

    Incomprehensibly, he roamed around Rome with his rough trade buddies.
    –ACCATONE

    Lustily and loudly, she doted too much on her street urchin son.
    –MAMMA ROMA

    Disgustingly, they had fun ruling what was left of Fascist Italy!
    –SALO

  27. Actually, two-thirds of Day of the Dolphin are pretty good. The remaining third wrecks in completely, but it develops nicely for the first half hour and manages some good moments all the way through.

  28. “Unfortunately, he found his lack of genitalia made him very sexually frustrated”

    – KING KONG

  29. with a nod to David Boxwell …

    “Seductively, they flamed at Mass by candlelight.”
    ~BAD EDUCATION

  30. Keeping on the ape theme:

    “Distressingly, Cheeta’s estrus no longer held the same appeal”
    – TARZAN AND HIS MATE

  31. Christopher Says:

    “They took his Gills,gave him clothes and paid his Bills…”
    The Creature Walks Among Us-1956

  32. Naively, he believed he was smarter than the Parallax Corporation.
    -Parallax View

    Tragically, he believed his friend, Harry Lime, was basically a good man.
    -Third Man

    Disastrously, he could not resist the temptation to open the suitcase.
    -Kiss Me Deadly

  33. “Intriguingly, the boy can see dead people, and Bruce Willis.”
    – THE SIXTH SENSE

  34. judydean Says:

    Endlessly, they dance around the pub to the tune of the accordion (SATANTANGO)

    Irritatingly, an adulterer fails to get his come-uppance (LE BONHEUR)

    Unbelievably, Cary Grant pursues Irene Dunn rather than Randolph Scott (MY FAVORITE WIFE)

  35. judydean Says:

    Satisfyingly, an arrogant toff gets his come-uppance (THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS)

  36. judydean Says:

    Sadly, Colin Farrell lives up to his reputations as an actor (THE NEW WORLD)

  37. Too vague — could apply to many Colin Farrell movies!

    I think Malick is better with kids than adults. His Pocahontas is another in a line of remarkable teens in his work, and The New World is distinguished by incredible kids, among other things.

    “Perhaps unwisely, they both fell for an inconsistent psycho.” – Jules et Jim.

  38. “Stupidly, he took a severed hand and high explosives to his fiancee’s”

    -BULLDOG DRUMMOND’S REVENGE

    ..as you may guess, I was watching a B picture last night

  39. Colin Farrell is excellent in Woody Allen’s CASSANDRA’S DREAM and also Minority Report.

    “Basically, these crazy mixed-up kids are in love”
    – MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ

  40. Farrell’s good in In Bruges, too.

    “Erroneously, she set out to hypnotize all attractive women into self-mutilation.” The Hypnotic Eye – I also watched a B-movie.

  41. david wingrove Says:

    Judy, shouldn’t that be…

    Sadly, Colin Farrell lives DOWN to his reputation as an actor.

    A handy tag-line, as it can be recycled for film after film.

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