Let George Do It
Maybe the pre-teen years of this century will be remembered as the era in which George C. Scott mash-ups replaced all other forms of art. Certainly, the video that intersplices Gorgeous George “emoting” in HARDCORE with the trailer for Adam Sandler’s JACK AND JILL is getting a lot of play, and I inadvertently anticipated it by mangling the poster for Scott’s self-directed vehicle RAGE. Now, my friend Brian Robinson draws my attention to the poster for DAY OF THE DOLPHIN, which has a unique tagline I can’t believe hasn’t been widely copied. The basic approach could apply to any movie.
DIE HARD: “Accidentally, he dirtied his vest, then killed everybody.”
GANGS OF NEW YORK: “Mistakenly, he set out to avenge his father’s death then didn’t do anything about it for hours of screen time.”
LAST YEAR AT MARIENBAD: “Unintentionally, they mooned around a big house, unable to make up their minds what was going on.”
I’d love to hear your own suggestions…
July 15, 2011 at 11:38 am
TREE OF LIFE: “Quite by chance, the entirety of everything burped into existence, ultimately upsetting Sean Penn.”
July 15, 2011 at 11:45 am
Inadvisably, they sent butter sales plummeting to an all-new low.
- LAST TANGO IN PARIS
Unwisely, he trusted a woman with an ankle-bracelet.
- DOUBLE INDEMNITY
Wastefully, they had all their fun off camera.
- The Liz Taylor/Richard Burton CLEOPATRA
Creepily, he convinced us that idiocy was a patriotic duty.
- FORREST GUMP
I could play this game forever and probably will.
July 15, 2011 at 11:55 am
Languidly, they stood in a field and picked some corn.
- DAYS OF HEAVEN
July 15, 2011 at 11:57 am
Naively, they thought the world would believe they were married.
- Jodie Foster and Richard Gere in SOMMERSBY
Even more naively, they thought the world might care if they were married or not.
- Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman in EYES WIDE SHUT
July 15, 2011 at 12:19 pm
They could do something similar with Jack Palance in Le Mepris, chucking film tins across the projection room and shouting.
July 15, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Accidentally on purpose.
- David Cronenberg’s CRASH
July 15, 2011 at 12:34 pm
“Unintentionally, he rode about on a worm and became the new messiah.” – Dune.
July 15, 2011 at 12:40 pm
Mistakenly, they went on holiday.
- WITHNAIL& I
July 15, 2011 at 1:46 pm
Ill-advisedly she changed the drapes — The Cobweb
July 15, 2011 at 2:00 pm
“Thoughtlessly, they made a movie.” — Casino Royale.
July 15, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Unconvincingly, together they went on an adventure into the erotic underworld.
—EYES WIDE SHUT
July 15, 2011 at 2:33 pm
Upliftingly, he witnessed his mother’s killing.
–BAMBI
July 15, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Repetitively, they vanquished all threats to a twee conception of the British boarding school.
–HARRY POTTER AND THE ADJECTIVE VERB
July 15, 2011 at 2:43 pm
correction: HARRY POTTER AND THE ADJECTIVE NOUN.
Seductively, they massed by flaming torchlight.
–TRIUMPH OF THE WILL
July 15, 2011 at 2:46 pm
Embarrassingly, they had a bromantic adventure in Morocco.
–ISHTAR
July 15, 2011 at 2:46 pm
My take on Eyes Wide Shut would be:
Unknowingly, he failed to get laid with a grieving woman, a prostitute, and at an orgy.
For 2001: Involuntarily, they presided over the evolution of the human race from ape to starchild.
July 15, 2011 at 3:13 pm
“Unfortunately, he murdered his wife and tried to forget it.”
-SHUTTER ISLAND and INCEPTION.
Your tagline for EWS, David C. demands a simple addition, “a grieving woman, a prostitue, at an orgy and with his wife.”
July 15, 2011 at 3:54 pm
To keep with the George C. Scott theme:
“Unknowingly, he fathered a very Oedipal child”
-THE BEAST IS LOOSE
July 15, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Oops, that’s THE SAVAGE IS LOOSE. Damned coffeeless morning.
July 15, 2011 at 5:15 pm
Unfortunately, a beige cowled sweater is not as macho as a filthy singlet.
- DIE HARD 2: DIE HARDER
July 15, 2011 at 5:15 pm
More on the George C Scott theme…
Valiantly, he preserved our precious bodily fluids.
- DR. STRANGELOVE
Obscenely, he glorified militarism at the height of the Vietnam War.
- PATTON
Lazily, he basked in the sun till we all fell asleep.
- ISLANDS IN THE STREAM
July 15, 2011 at 5:23 pm
Amazingly, he still got the girl after balling her mom.
- THE GRADUATE
July 15, 2011 at 5:40 pm
Pasolini’s Edipo Re would make all too easy a target for this.
“Unthinkingly, he took megadoses of peyote in an isolation tank and devolved into an apeman and then a primal energy being. I think.” – Altered States.
July 15, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Astonishingly, they expected us to believe that watery-eyed spunkbag Michael Douglas wasn’t already an habitual philanderer.
- FATAL ATTRACTION
July 15, 2011 at 6:22 pm
“Wittingly, he made a movie about unwittingly training a dolphin to kill the President.” – The Day of the Dolphin
“Willingly, I was retrained to kill the director.” – The Day of the Dolphin II: Flipper’s Revenge
July 15, 2011 at 6:46 pm
Mystifyingly, he laid every member of a family of capitalist pigs.
–TEOREMA.
Incomprehensibly, he roamed around Rome with his rough trade buddies.
–ACCATONE
Lustily and loudly, she doted too much on her street urchin son.
–MAMMA ROMA
Disgustingly, they had fun ruling what was left of Fascist Italy!
–SALO
July 15, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Actually, two-thirds of Day of the Dolphin are pretty good. The remaining third wrecks in completely, but it develops nicely for the first half hour and manages some good moments all the way through.
July 15, 2011 at 8:10 pm
“Unfortunately, he found his lack of genitalia made him very sexually frustrated”
- KING KONG
July 15, 2011 at 8:42 pm
with a nod to David Boxwell …
“Seductively, they flamed at Mass by candlelight.”
~BAD EDUCATION
July 15, 2011 at 9:37 pm
Keeping on the ape theme:
“Distressingly, Cheeta’s estrus no longer held the same appeal”
- TARZAN AND HIS MATE
July 15, 2011 at 11:47 pm
“They took his Gills,gave him clothes and paid his Bills…”
The Creature Walks Among Us-1956
July 16, 2011 at 2:22 am
Naively, he believed he was smarter than the Parallax Corporation.
-Parallax View
Tragically, he believed his friend, Harry Lime, was basically a good man.
-Third Man
Disastrously, he could not resist the temptation to open the suitcase.
-Kiss Me Deadly
July 16, 2011 at 6:45 am
“Intriguingly, the boy can see dead people, and Bruce Willis.”
- THE SIXTH SENSE
July 16, 2011 at 9:02 am
Endlessly, they dance around the pub to the tune of the accordion (SATANTANGO)
Irritatingly, an adulterer fails to get his come-uppance (LE BONHEUR)
Unbelievably, Cary Grant pursues Irene Dunn rather than Randolph Scott (MY FAVORITE WIFE)
July 16, 2011 at 9:26 am
Satisfyingly, an arrogant toff gets his come-uppance (THE MAGNIFICENT AMBERSONS)
July 16, 2011 at 9:37 am
Sadly, Colin Farrell lives up to his reputations as an actor (THE NEW WORLD)
July 16, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Too vague — could apply to many Colin Farrell movies!
I think Malick is better with kids than adults. His Pocahontas is another in a line of remarkable teens in his work, and The New World is distinguished by incredible kids, among other things.
“Perhaps unwisely, they both fell for an inconsistent psycho.” – Jules et Jim.
July 16, 2011 at 2:38 pm
“Stupidly, he took a severed hand and high explosives to his fiancee’s”
-BULLDOG DRUMMOND’S REVENGE
..as you may guess, I was watching a B picture last night
July 17, 2011 at 12:01 pm
Colin Farrell is excellent in Woody Allen’s CASSANDRA’S DREAM and also Minority Report.
“Basically, these crazy mixed-up kids are in love”
- MINNIE AND MOSKOWITZ
July 17, 2011 at 12:37 pm
Farrell’s good in In Bruges, too.
“Erroneously, she set out to hypnotize all attractive women into self-mutilation.” The Hypnotic Eye – I also watched a B-movie.
July 18, 2011 at 1:05 pm
Judy, shouldn’t that be…
Sadly, Colin Farrell lives DOWN to his reputation as an actor.
A handy tag-line, as it can be recycled for film after film.